Monday, December 31, 2012

An Unparelled Peace

Here I go again, copying a lesson from my daily Bible study book, "Feature." I'm glad it's not copyrighted with a message stating that it cannot be copied because it has many good lessons.
            We live in a time where peace is scarce. Without jobs, unemployment running out, and people feeling desperate, hope and peace seem to be hiding in the depths of the ocean. Relationships are strained as finances become high wire balancing acts with the ends fraying rapidly. People begin to feel hopeless and worried, afraid that things will never get better. Alcohol and drug abuse often become easy escapes from the pressure, but the come-down only leaves those people feeling worse.
            Today, nations are seeking peace but failing to find it. Religions are looking for peace, yet it eludes them. Individuals are searching for various kinds of peace, but they lack peace more than ever before. Do you want real peace today and throughout this coming new year? It can only be found in Jesus Christ, the Living Word, and in the Bible, the written Word. Jesus promised His peace to those who would heed His Word and submit to the ministry of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter (John 14:26, 27). This peace is not available through the world. Only the genuine, perfect peace of God results in untroubled hearts and in the banishment of all fear. This peace can be ours even in the very midst of tribulation; we are to be filled with joy (not the same as happiness) at the assurance that our Lord has overcome the world (John 16:33). In these difficult days, Satan seeks to fill believers with fear regarding their overwhelming circumstances. But God's Word promises, "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee" (Is. 26:3). Are we looking to Him when trials happen?
            It is important to realize that peace with God through faith in our Lord Jesus Christ (Rom. 5:1) is a prerequisite to experiencing  "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding" (Phil. 4:7). Also, we must not forget that this perfect peace is intrinsically coupled with prayer and thanksgiving—the only way to avoid anxiety (Phil. 4:6). We all need this divinely given grace in these troublesome times. If we truly want peace, we must remember that it cannot be obtained through determination or self-effort. With a yielded heart, we must "let the peace of God rule in our hearts" (Col. 3:15).

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Cast All Your Care Upon Him

Many of our problems stem from disagreements over small things. My Sunday School children argue over who's going to sit in the front seat or whether something was done on Sunday or Monday, etc. Have you ever noticed that the attitudes of children seem to mirror ours as adults? They learn from the adults in their lives. Yet, we are born sinners and no one has to teach us to get angry, to hate, to lie, cheat or steal. Our problems, James says, come from wanting things for our own pleasure so we can brag about our possessions or puff up our self-esteem. All of these lead to discontent and strife.

I Peter 5:5-9 says, "
1Pe 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. 1Pe 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 1Pe 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 1Pe 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 1Pe 5:9 Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
Satan wants you to be miserable. He wants you to have strife and not get along with people. This is just one of many passages in the Bible that give us instruction as to how to have peace. If we lovingly submit to the will of others (as long as it does not conflict with God's word), preferring their wishes to our own, we will have peace, contentment, and strong relationships. This life is not about us; it's about God and others.

If you would like a free bookmark, e-mail me at themarriagecounselor@yahoo.com with bookmark as the subject. I will not share your information with anyone else. May the Lord bless and keep you, make His face to shine upon you, and give you peace.



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A New Poem

I received this poem in a Christmas card from a dear friend and felt compelled to share it with all of you. As you read this poem think of someone who may benefit from you with a helping hand or a word of encouragement. Don't forget to tell your family you love them, and please remember to thank them for loving you. "Thank you" are not very big words but most people greatly appreciate them. Please leave me a comment or suggestion. Thank you for reading this blog. May your life be filled with hope, joy, and comfort this blessed Christmas season.
Sincerely,
Aleta Kay

Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone,
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this home did live.
I looked all about, a strange sight I did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

No stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
and on the wall pictures of far distant lands.
With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
a sobering thought came to my mind.
For this house was different, so dark and so dreary,
the home of a soldier, now I could see clearly.

The soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.
The face was so gentle, the room in such disorder,
not how I pictured a United States soldier.
Was this the hero of whom I'd just read?
Curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

I realized the families that I saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.
Soon round the world, the children would play,
and grownups would celebrate a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

I couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas eve in a land far from home.
The very thought brought a tear to my eye,
I dropped to my knees and started to cry.
The soldier awakened and I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice;

I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more,
my life is my God, my country, my corps."
The soldier rolled over and soon drifted to sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.
I kept watch for hours, so silent and still,
and we both shivered from the cold evening's chill.

I didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
Then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, "Carry on Santa, it's Christmas day, all is secure."
One look at my watch, and I knew he was right.
"Merry Christmas my friend, and to all a good night."
          By Lance Corporal James M. Schmidt

Friday, December 14, 2012

Shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School

The news today is unbelievably horrible. A young man at the age of 20 went to a local elementary school in Newtown, CT shot and killed 20 children and 6 adults. I cannot imagine the horror those people felt, nor the grief the families are experiencing tonight. Though I live in a state far from the event, still I feel the grief.  I am broken-hearted that anyone would have to go through such a nightmare.
     At times like this it seems an automatic response to blame God. I want you to know that it was not God who did this, but Satan, God's arch enemy. Satan has been a murderer from the beginning when he had Cain kill his brother, Abel, out of jealousy. Throughout history Satan has been killing children. Many ancient cultures would throw their children into the fire as an offering to their pagan gods. King Herod ordered all baby boys 2 years old and under killed when he found out Jesus Christ had been born. He knew the prophecy that said Jesus would be the King of the Jews and Herod didn't want that to happen.
     So in your grief, please lay the blame where it belongs. Satan will always have people to do his bidding. Most of the time they have no idea that they are being controlled by the supreme evil being. The only way I know to get through this kind of grief is to run to God's arms, repent of your own sin (because we are all sinners), invite him to be Lord of your life and ask Him to help ou through this most difficult time. Jesus said, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." He wants to comfort you and take your grief. He wants to help you through this. He's waiting with open arms. God bless.

"Mending Fences," my second novel

     April heard the sound of a child screaming and the soul-wrenching sob of, "Dear God, no!" escaped her lips at the same moment the brakes squealed and crunched metal. The glass April had been washing shattered on the floor. Please, God, don't let it be Cassie. Her heart seemed to pound in rhythm to her mind's cry. She would always remember the ticking clock seeming so loud and slow while her heart was trying to pound its way out of her chest. Her eyes noted the time as she raced out the door, unaware of the dishrag she still held. The clock showed six-twenty-three. They had just finished supper, all except Robert, who was away--again.

     This is the opening paragraph of my second novel, self-published and available as an e-book from amazon.com. Post a comment. let me know what you think.

"Vengeance," my first novel

     Drip. . . drip. . . plop. . . drip. . . plop. . . limestone droplets dripping on my head, dripping down my back, my face, my arms. Dripping, dripping, in this cold, clammy, dark place. Odious smell of vermin. Shrieks. Bats? Rats? Creeping things. Palpable darkness. Water running down the pit. I can hear it dropping to the bottom, a deep sound. Can't see my feet, can't see the walls, can't see my hand in front of my face. Screaming, screaming. Oh, my God, it's my own voice and I'll never get out of here!

     This is the opening to my first novel. The person in the above paragraph is the nemesis of the main character, Fawn Larson. Fawn is hald Native American and half white. She clings to her Native American faith while God is seeking her heart, wanting to give her inner peace. What will it take for God to get Fawn's attention?  Available in paperback from barnesandnoble.com


Did You Know You Were Lost?

     Luke 19:10 says, "For the son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." These are just a few of the words of Jesus the Christ, the son of the living God, in fact God in the flesh (read the gospel of John chapter one). The Bible teaches us that we are all sinners. We cannot be born a Christian. We are unable to save ourselves from our sinful nature. We all have gone astray, and turned everyone to his own way (Isaiah 53:6). Until we meet Jesus and ask Him to forgive us, we are lost in our sin and on our way to hell. BUT JESUS, GOD IN THE FLESH, LEFT HEAVEN TO COME AND SEEK YOU! He is trying to win your heart, to save you from your sin nature. Not that you will ever be perfect in this life but He will help you live right in the sight of God, that you may live in paradise with him when this life is over. He wants to be your best friend.
     What great love God has for you. You are special to him. He created you on purpose because he loves you, even when it seems no one else cares. I'm writing this because I care.

     If you would like a free bookmark, leave a comment on any of these posts. E-mail me your name and address (I will not share it with anyone) and I will send you a bookmark made just for you. You can choose a rainbow, butterfly, bird, house, or favorite poem (short, no more than 8 lines). You can also choose a favorite flower. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Those Were The Good Old Days!

I was reading my devotional materials this morning and the above was the title of one of them. This material is not copyrighted so I am going to copy it here. Consider Hebrews 10:32a which admonishes us to remember days gone by. Here's the story:
     A pastor and his wife took a day trip to the birthplace of Ulysses S. Grant, taking in his boyhood home and the one room school he attended. While there the pastor picked up the "Teacher's Rules" that they had to abide by back in those 19th Century southern Ohio school rooms. Here are just a few: Female teachers could not marry or even company with men while under contract. They had to be home by 8:00 p.m. They could not loiter at ice cream stores or ride in a carriage unless with her brother or father. They could not smoke, wear bright colors, dye their hair or wear skirts shorter than two inches above the ankle. Men teachers had to fill lamps, clean chimneys and haul water. They could only court one night a week or twice if they went to church. If he smoked, used liquor, went to pool halls or got shaved in a barbershop he would have to give reason for people not to suspect his worth and integrity. Oh, and after working five years, without fault, could get a raise of a quarter a week with the board's approval.  Copied from Baptist Bread, November/December 2012 issue.

This may seem ridiculous in our modern day but consider: teachers back then were not being accused of raping/molesting students; they were not engaged in pornography; and they didn't get in trouble for having affairs with students. The rules may have been severe, but which would you rather have--severity and integrity or hedonism and danger for your children? I Thessalonians 5:22 tells us to abstain from even the appearance of evil. Like it or not, people judge you by the actions and attitudes they see and you can't stop people from doing that. What kind of reputation do you have? What kind do you want?

If you leave a comment AND would like a custom made bookmark sent to you, e-mail me at aletak60@gmail.com. Put bookmark in the subject line and send me your mailing address. I will send you a bookmark and will not share your name or address with anyone. God bless.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Perfect Gift

Have you ever seen the movie "The Christmas Box"? I love this movie. It puts things in perspective. Richard Thomas's character is working hard to provide a better life for his family. Great! Every woman wants a man who will be a good provider for his family. It builds trust and security, peace of mind. It's not just accepting responsibility, but embracing it! But the harder he works the more time he's away from his family. He's so intent on their future that he sacrifices the present.

Our world (not just the United States) begins planning for Christmas in October. We're already past Thanksgiving before it even arrives. I hear families bickering and complaining about having to spend so much time together as the holidays approach because THERE'S A SALE AND I'M GOING TO MISS IT! What???!!! Time out, folks! Why is a bigger, brighter, TV, or newest Kindle or Iphone or Ipad so important? Those are things and they don't love you back. They don't even care if they get used or not. They are tools, and if they are making your life more complicated, they are not doing their job.

Our gods have become today's technological wonders and tomorrow's old and inferior products. Wake up and see the stark whiteness behind the words! My favorite part of the movie is when Maureen O'Hara asks Richard Thomas if he knows what the first Christmas gift was. He's baffled by the question and says sort of half-sarcastically, "A tie?" She just looks at him. He says he'll think about it some more. Finally, at the end of the movie, he gets it. The very first Christmas gift was--can you guess? It was LOVE.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16.

I will send a custom made bookmark to everyone who responds to this page beginning Dec. 13, 2012. Just send me an e-mail to aletak60@gmail.com with "bookmark" in the subject line. I'll be using snail mail so leave your mailing address. I will not share it with anyone else.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Don't Throw Away Your Old Toothbrush

     I have a couple of thoughts on this and they are not connected, to please bear with me. The first thought is a practical application. I keep two old toothbrushes on the back of my kitchen sink and one in the bathroom. The reason? In the kitchen, I use one to clean the beaters for my mixer because it's hard to get the ends clean with the dishrag. It also works on wire whisks. The other one is used to clean around the grout on the sink and the drains. The toothbrush in the bathroom is used to clean my combs. No more soaking and waiting for the combs to dry. I put a little soap on them, run warm water over them slowly and use the old toothbrush to get between the teeth of the comb. Done in two minutes! Then I just rinse off the soap.
     My second thought about toothbrushes is this: Consider what a small thing a toothbrush is. (I know that was a grammatically incorrect statement. Never end a sentence with a preposition.) The toothbrush is small and really doesn't do much. It only gets used two or three times a day, and then only for a short time. Yet it is a very important part of our lives (or should be). Think about the job it does. What would happen to your teeth if they were never brushed? What would happen to your breath and your gums? Your teeth would decay and rot away (which some will do anyway just due to wear and tear); your breath would be most foul, and your gums would get infected, and the infection would spread to the rest of your body.
     Do you ever feel insignificant, like your toothbrush? Do you sometimes wonder if you have any purpose or value? Rest assured, my friend, God holds you in high esteem. If you were the only person left on earth, Jesus still would have left heaven to die on a cruel cross, to take your penalty for your sins, and offer you eternal life. He is risen and He is still offering you eternal life. He leaves the decision up to you. If you want to know how to get to know Him, leave me a post. Actually, I'd like for my readers to leave me a post anyway. Let me know what you think. This is an open forum. All comments are welcome. We learn by discussion. Have a blessed day.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

And We All Fall Down

Holidays are often stressful for families. Great expectations abound and feelings of resentment and inadequacy bubble and boil like an over-full pan of gravy. We try to get our emotions under control and someone says something or looks at us in a way that makes us want to crawl in a hole and knock their head off at the same time. What can we do? Should we just keep to ourselves and deny the pleasure of the relatives we do get along with? What about their feelings? Sometimes it just gets to be overwhelming and despite our best intentions, we lapse into taking "just one drink," or "just one whatever." Only it doesn't stop with one.
I've never struggled with drug or alcohol addiction but I have friends and loved ones who have. I've watched the turmoil. I witnessed the guilt, repentence, doing better, and another fall cycle. I don't claim to have all of the answers but I serve a God who does.
God loves you right where you are. He wants to take your burdens, your frustrations, your heartaches, your failures. He wants to give you peace. He's waiting for you to ask Him. Once you've asked you have to let Him in. Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts." It is a choice. You have to be quiet and let it come in. Savor it. Wallow in it. Thank God for giving you His peace.
Many times in the Bible we are told God will neve forsake His children. You can trust Him. He never changes. He is just and holy and forgiving. When you are weak He is strong. He promises that His grace is sufficient for you. He promised He will never tempt you beyond what you are able to handle but will always provide a way of escape. The important thing to remember is not to give yourself opportunity to fall. "Give no place to the devil. Don't provide opportunity for your flesh to win. When temptation hits turn around and run in the other direction.
If you do fall, don't beat yourself up. Ask God to forgive you. Then read Romans 8:1--there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Just try again.
I hope this helps. God bless you and have a wonderful Christmas.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I Wish I Had Kept That

I was in the thrift store today (that's my kind of shopping!) and it was filled to overflowing with Christmas decorations all kinds of wonderful things. As I was leaving I heard a man tell one of the workers, "I can't believe it. So much of this stuff looks like the stuff I brought in. It's so cool. I wish I had kept it."

I wonder if we treat our relationships like that sometimes. I am so bad at keeping in touch with friends, even locally. I misplace phone numbers that were written on pieces of paper. I don't take the few seconds it would take to put it in the computer or an address book so I'd know where to find it. I hate to write letters. I always feel like I'm writing a form letter (which I will do for Christmas this year). People don't feel valued if you don't keep in touch. They feel like a foster child that got left out in the cold, or gets shuffled from one home to another (or from one friend to another).

With all of our modern conveniences, texting, e-mail, blogging, cell phones, Facebook, Twitter, wouldn't you think it would be easier to keep in touch? I don't know about anyone else, but I know I am too easily distracted by all the glitter and toys, the apps, or even just learning to use the silly things, that I neglect people I really care about. The biggest regret of my life is losing friends I have taken for granted. Don't be like me. Tell your friends you appreciate them. Send an e-card or a text message. Call them and ask how their day is going. Make plans for lunch or a girl's night out to see a movie. Plan a hiking trip that won't take all day. Plan a picnic with your friends and their kids. Make the most of your friendships while you still have them.

God bless and have a blessed Thanksgiving. What do you think? Tell me about your experiences. You can use a nickname or just initials, a CB handle, whatever you choose. You can remain anonymous but I'd like to hear from you.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Don't Be A Judge

Most of us tend to be critical of others in some way, at some point in our lives. We don't mean to be cruel or thoughtless; we just are sometimes. We say things in a way that puts someone else down or makes them feel small. Sometimes we don't even realize we are being mean-spirited. Sometimes when we do realize it we excuse ourselves by saying, "Well, I'm only human," or "I can't help it; it's just the way I am."

The Bible tells us in Matthew chapter 7, the first five verses that we are not to judge others because we don't judge ourselves with the same standard. We tend to expect more of others than we do ourselves. It goes on to say that God will judge us by the same standard with which we judge others. We should look at ourselves and see where we need to change, then ask for God's help. 

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you." You'll be happier if you just accept others for who they are. 

Friday, November 16, 2012

Communication is the Key

We all know relationships can be very difficult. Even with people we are close to and get along with, still, we can get our feelings hurt, take something the wrong way, or jump to conclusions. The holidays are almost upon us. Did you get the invitation you expected? Did you forget to return a phone call, thereby hurting someone else's feelings? Did your brother (or sister, parent, best friend, etc.) really mean what they said? Or did you just take it wrong?

I am one of those people who suffers from hoof and mouth disease. Writing is easy (easier, anyway) because I can think about what I want to say and how it will come across to the hearer. In conversation I don't have that luxury and things often don't come out of  my mouth they way I intend them. I am a professional apologizer.

My three oldest grandchildren live in Tennessee. They have full lives, and apart from birthdays and holidays, probably don't think much about distant grandparents. Their mom has her hands full just keeping up with them and the home business. I don't hear from her nearly as often as I would like and it's easy for me to think that she just doesn't care about my feelings, or that she's upset with me about something, or a dozen other negative things. The truth is, she's probably extremely busy and doesn't have the energy to think about the grandparents several states away. So I'm swallowing my negativity and will send a nice letter and Thanksgiving card to the family. Maybe I'll hear back. It's worth a try and better than writing something that will upset her. What do you think? Leave me a comment.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

We Are In A War

This is a hard post to write. We live in a society that wants to embrace everything and call it right. The lines of right and wrong have been blurred by our society and sanctioned by our government under pressure from voters. This is the longest post I have ever written but please read it all the way through. It is for your benefit. God is reaching out to you.
            Let me begin by saying that I do not hate anyone. This post is not to condemn. It is to encourage and exhort those who are blinded by the evil one to turn to righteousness for their very soul's sake. This life is temporary but there is a hereafter. We will not stand before the god of our own making, the god we want to serve with our own rules and values, but the God of the universe, the great I AM.
            Jesus Christ, the only BEGOTTEN Son of God, died on a cruel cross for our sins. We do not get to define sin. God's Holy Word defines sin. We cannot, must not, change God's Word to suit ourselves. Hell is a real place as described in the account of the rich man and Lazarus (Jesus never used real names in His parables) in Luke chapter 16. If we worship a god of our own making our end will be like that of the rich man in this account. A god of our own making is a false god, not Jehovah God.
            The Bible teaches us that homosexuality is one of many sins, but sexual sin of any kind is a stronghold. Pedophiles can't seem to help themselves. Society condemns pedophilia but something has happened in that person's life to cause them to have a twisted view of what love is. In fact, it is lust, not love. Yet, when it was introduced into that person's life, it was most likely under the guise of love. That does not make it right. It is a stronghold.
            Incest is the unnatural love a brother has for a sister, or a sister for a brother, or a parent for a child. It is still a very strong feeling and the enemy coats it in feelings of love (at least on the part of one party) but it is against God's law. It is not natural. Likewise, homosexuality is an unnatural affection. These feelings are very strong, I know. But we must not mock God, nor take His grace for granted. If we are to claim to be His children, we MUST live by His Word.
            Know your enemy. Satan is bidding for your soul. He wants to destroy you. He does not want God to have you. If you are a child of God and have been tempted to, or have been, engaged in a homosexual relationship, for your soul's sake, you MUST put on your spiritual armor as described in Ephesians chapter 6, verses 10 through 18. Your eternal destiny depends on it. Jesus Christ hung on a cruel cross, was tortured prior to that beyond normal human endurance, that He might deliver you. Please, don't be deceived. This kind of love, according to the Word of God, is perversion. Jesus wants to set you free.
      2 Corinthians 6:12-17 says, "2Co 6:12  Ye are not straitened in us, but ye are straitened in your own bowels.
2Co 6:13  Now for a recompence in the same, (I speak as unto my children,) be ye also enlarged.
2Co 6:14  Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
2Co 6:15  And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
2Co 6:16  And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
2Co 6:17  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,
2Co 6:18  And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
                                                                                                                             
                  Did you catch it? Did you understand it? God is not divided. He cannot be God and Satan. Verse 12 says you are caught in your own trap, not in the truth. You cannot serve yourself and your own fleshly desires and serve God at the same time. (verse 16). Only by walking in the light of God's Word will He be your God, and you His people. He will not receive you if you demand to go your own way, following the lusts of the flesh.
                  Rom 1:18  For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
Rom 1:19  Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath showed it unto them.
Rom 1:20  For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
Rom 1:21  Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
Rom 1:22  Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,
Rom 1:23  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
Rom 1:24  Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
Rom 1:25  Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.
Rom 1:26  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
Rom 1:27  And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
Rom 1:28  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;
Rom 1:29  Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,
Rom 1:30  Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,
Rom 1:31  Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:
Rom 1:32  Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

                  I don't believe these verses need any explanation. It seems pretty clear how God feels about these things and I believe it is clear what sins He is talking about. God can forgive anything (except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit) but forgiveness follows repentence. If we repent of our sins we turn away from them toward God's righteousness. I Peter 1:15, 16 tells us to be holy as He is holy. This life is not about us. It is about Jesus. Why would we want to crucify Him afresh and put Him to an open shame by our lifestyles?
            Heb 6:4  For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
Heb 6:5  And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
Heb 6:6  If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
Heb 6:7  For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God:
Heb 6:8  But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned.
Heb 6:9  But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak.

                  I Corinthians 6:9, 10 says, "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
                  Please, please, for your soul's sake and the for the sake of the Savior who loves you, seek His deliverance. I know it will be hard. I know it will hurt. Don't try to figure out why you have these feelings. The why is irrelevant to the cure. It will take diligence on your part. The Bible tells us to die to ourselves daily. You must daily yield yourself to God. You must daily, perhaps several times a day, repent of your unholy feelings and ask God to help you deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Him. You may stumble and fall from time to time but don't give up. Keep renewing your commitment to Christ. You are precious and special in His sight. He knows you and He loves you. When He was on the cross you were on His mind.



Monday, April 30, 2012

The Picture Of True Love
By Aleta Kay

          I was appalled to hear on the news the other day that the divorce rate among couples aged fifty and older has drastically increased. I have to ask myself why. My husband and I have just entered our sixties and we’re very happy together. So what’s wrong with these other couples?
          The news media interviewed a man who had gotten divorced within the last five years (he and his wife were in their fifties) and a woman, now in her late fifties or early sixties who had been divorced also within the last five years. Both of them said they had the freedom now to follow their dreams, to do what they want to do. They were amazed at how free they felt. How sad it seems to me that they have to experience this alone.
          Marriage is not supposed to be stifling. Yes, there are responsibilities, and sometimes extremely frustrating. Yes, when raising a family, you may have to put your dreams on hold, but one person should never deny the other the opportunity to fulfill their dreams. Before a couple ever gets married they should discuss their dreams, make plans to allow those dreams to be fulfilled at some point in their lives. Decide from the start which career path should be given first choice if college or career training will happen during the marriage. If one partner has a job or career that may involve travel it needs to be determined ahead of time if the other person can handle separation or relocation.
          If these changes take place after a couple is married there needs to be a lot of open communication. Ask questions. If you don’t know the answers find them. Get all the information you can. I believe the Bible teaches that, since the husband is the head of the household and accountable to God for that position, the wife should always follow her husband’s lead. It isn’t always easy. Pride and our own will can be very difficult to suppress or deny. Relationships require sacrifice. Why should the wife be the one to sacrifice if necessary? Because Eve was deceived, duped, misled into eating the forbidden fruit. She was the one willing to experiment with things outside of God’s rules. Adam sinned deliberately. Thus the wife is to be under the husband’s protection and guidance. If he makes a mistake or doesn’t do it right, God holds him accountable. Now if the wife rebels and demands her own way, God will hold her accountable because she has again chosen to ignore God. She is again being deceived by her own will into doing what is wrong. It is possible to do the right thing for the wrong reason. There is never a right reason to disobey God.
          On the other hand, we live near my husband’s parents. I have the best in-laws in the world. They are a treasure to me. They are in their eighties and not as healthy as they once were. My father-in-law, Dewayne, has been an amputee for over forty years. His stump gives him a lot of pain and he has to have a new prosthesis made every few years. He is on a lot of medication and can no longer walk upright. He uses a cane or a walker even when he has his artificial leg on. My mother-in-law is much smaller than he, and she has to help him in and out of their vehicle when they have doctor appointments or if they go out to eat. She has to help him get dressed, put his leg on, etc. She sometimes suffers from vertigo, hypoglycemia, and other things. She doesn’t always feel like taking care of him. But she does it. Sometimes it wears her down, and although she may complain occasionally, she wouldn’t trade him in for anything. She has no desire to dump him. She is not in a hurry for him to die. When he has a sleepless night, so does she. She is the picture of love for him. She considers herself blessed. He is blessed to have such a faithful and loving wife. She is my role model.

Monday, April 16, 2012

What Kind Of Mother Am I?

By Aleta Kay

          Maybe you’re asking yourself this question. Maybe you’ve abandoned your child or children. Maybe you’ve had an abortion. Maybe your child or children died in a fire due to your negligence. Let me assure you: God is not condemning you. God loves you and He loves your child or children.
          I know the guilt trip and lies Satan plays out in your head: “They’re better off without you. You’re a reprobate. You’re no good. You’ll never be any good. No one loves you. No one cares.” Every single one of those statements are lies straight out of the pits of hell.
          I don’t know what you are going through. I won’t pretend I do. But I serve a God who is full of love and compassion. My God wrote in His Word: “The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9.
          God does not consider you as being any worse than any other sinner (and we are ALL sinners.) Romans 3:10 says there is none righteous, no not one. We are all guilty before God. The GREAT NEWS is that Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Your debt, your penalty has already been paid. You can’t earn it (no one can). It is free for all who will believe that Jesus is God the Son, that he was crucified on a cruel cross to pay for our sins, that he died, was buried and rose again on the third day. What’s more, he promised that some day he would come back and take his bride, those who have put their faith and trust in him, out of this world and to heaven, so we can live with him forever.
          God can change your life. He can give you victory over addictions. He can clean you up and make you whole. It isn’t easy. But it is possible. And if you mess up, fall back to your old ways, he is loving and patient and will help you up again as long as you are willing to let him. Romans 8:1 says there is therefore now NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. If you want more information e-mail me at themarriagementor@yahoo.com. I’ll be happy to help you and, of course, everything is confidential. You don’t even have to use your real name. Just put “blog” in the subject line so I’ll know it’s important. God bless you.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Are You An Enabler To Your Children?
By Aleta Kay

It seems there are a lot of parents today who are doing serious harm to their children. They buy their teens alcohol, drugs, (or give them the money to purchase them), support them up into their adult lives while letting them live at home. These parents don’t encourage their children to get jobs. They don’t teach them any moral values. They just coddle them. This is negative narcissism.
Every animal at some point kicks its young out of the nest and expects their young to be able to fend for themselves. We are humans. We are higher than the animals (according to God’s word and contrary to popular opinion).
Parents are responsible for teaching their children moral values, a work ethic, making sure they get an education, and preparing them for an adult life that will enable that adult child to be a PRODUCTIVE member of society. They should one day be able to marry, have a family of their own, and live by their own resources.
I realize there are some children who are born with handicaps that may preclude them from independence as an adult. That is a totally different subject. My heart goes out to those parents who have suffered the heartbreak of knowing their children will never be able to be independent. Yet, I have a great deal of admiration for them. They know how to cope with heartbreak and disappointment, and the parents I have known of such children seem to have a much greater capacity for patience, endurance, understanding and love than the average parent of children who will, one day, be able to be independent.
The parents I am talking about today are those who coddle their children and make them emotional and intellectual cripples. When you are selfish enough to keep an adult child dependent on you, regardless of the reason, you are setting them up for failure. How do you think they will survive after you die? They won’t know how to balance a checkbook, pay bills, manage their money, find and hold a job. Who would marry someone who doesn’t know how to be an adult? You are setting that child up for a miserable life after you are gone.
You need to get a life of your own, and teach your grown child to be an adult (if it isn’t too late), and cut the apron strings when he or she is able to manage. Don’t expect the rest of society to take of your adult son or daughter because you didn’t want to let go. It isn’t fair to anyone.
If you are allowing your teens to drink and/or do drugs, or are supplying the money, remember the law will hold you guilty. You are aiding and abetting. This is a felony punishable by jail time. The state can take your children and put them in foster care—regardless of their ages, as long as they are not out of high school or under the age of eighteen. You are teaching your children that it is okay for them to harm themselves. You may as well give them a gun and tell them to shoot themselves: same effect. The only difference is a gun would be faster. (I am not advocating murder or suicide here. I’m trying to make a point.)
If you are teaching your kids to be bullies, or are overlooking their anger issues, be aware that you are teaching them to be abusive adults. You are teaching them that they do not have to exercise self-control. You are teaching them that assault and battery (considered crimes by our penal code) are okay. You are teaching them that the laws of the land don’t apply to them. If they get arrested, remember you put them there by teaching them they can do whatever they want to whomever they want.
The bottom line is: are you a parent or a buddy? Do you really love your children? The Bible says a loving parent will discipline their children (Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 19:18; and Proverbs 22:15.  I know that our laws today are against spanking. Check with your local police station and see what the law is in your area. Where I live spanking is allowed as long as you don’t leave marks or bruises. Proper spanking will not leave marks. But there are other methods of discipline. However, if you’ve never disciplined your children before it may be too late to start now. It depends on their ages and level of maturity.


Monday, April 9, 2012

What Do You Look For In A Church?
By Aleta Kay

          Most churches have a set of bylaws and a statement of faith. Usually, upon baptism, statement of faith, or letter from another church where you were a member, you are asked to read and agree with these bylaws and statement of faith.
          If you have not been asked to do this then you may not need this information.
          I have never been involved in a church in which I have agreed with everything. The things I don’t agree with are my personal convictions or my personal beliefs based on my understanding of scripture.
          There is no such thing as a perfect church, a perfect set of rules, rituals, bylaws, etc. They are all man-made, based on a denominational understanding of scripture. Denominations are created by man, hence there are bound to be differences of opinion or belief.
          I am a member of an Independent Baptist Church because that is the denomination under which I was baptized (after salvation at a Billy Graham movie) and I agree with most of its tenets. I agree with this denomination more than any other. I believe it sticks to scripture more closely than any other denomination.
          There are areas of the bylaws and statement of faith with which I disagree. I will not discuss them with other church members or even with the pastor because they are my personal beliefs and tenets. I am just as capable of being incorrect as anyone else. We are all fallible.
          My point, the reason for this post, is that some church members seem to get upset and ready to leave the church over the issues on which they disagree. If it is not related to salvation and eternal security, as my best friend says, “Chew up the meat and spit out the bones.” Just agree to disagree if you like the church and the people in it. Don’t quibble over things (such as who will be included in the rapture or when the rapture will take place) that will not affect you personally or affect your testimony, your witness. Accept the differences and be at peace with your fellow believers. God is still on the throne and His will will be accomplished regardless of our personal convictions or beliefs. If it doesn’t contradict a command or edict made by God, written in His word, just be at peace with those around you and be happy.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Why Can’t I Shake This Depression?

by Aleta Kay

         
          Depression is anger turned inward. The first step in overcoming depression is to face whatever you are angry about, or determine with whom you are angry. Many times we are angry with another person and don’t have the courage to face them or confront them about the issue.
          Anger can come over the loss of a job, a dumb choice we made that got us into trouble, an argument over a family situation, or any number of other things. Keeping that anger bottled up inside can create an imbalance in the chemicals in the brain (serotonin and melatonin) that keep our emotions on an even keel. When serotonin is depleted we feel tired, lethargic, not interested in much of anything. We begin to feel hopeless.
          It is important to be COMPLETELY honest with yourself about the anger issue. Let me give a brief illustration.
          I have a friend (I’ll call her Jennifer since I have no friends by that name). She had been sober for a number of years. She was stressed out about her job, and she takes care of a neighbor who, although healthy enough to get up and do most minor things for herself, had become completely dependent on Jennifer to come over and make coffee every morning, fix breakfast, pay her bills, do her laundry, etc. Jennifer had become resentful but not willing to stop enabling her friend. One evening she took a drink, realized she needed fuel in her vehicle and drove to the gas station. She got pulled over for a tail light being out. The officer smelled alcohol on breath, gave her the breathalyzer test and arrested her for DUI. She spent eighteen months in the county jail and lost her job.
          Jennifer got depressed. She said she wasn’t mad at God; she was mad at herself. When she got out of jail she moped around for weeks before filling for unemployment. She is eligible for disability but won’t file because it takes too long for it to go through. She is still enabling her neighbor and still feeling resentful. She won’t go back to church either.
          Jennifer says she is mad at herself. Maybe she is but she is taking it out on God by leaving Him out of her life. Oh, she listens to Christian radio and reads a devotional book occasionally, and her Bible, but none of those are affecting change in her attitude. She is choosing to stay miserable.
          She punishes herself by not eating and not taking the necessary steps to take care of her financial situation. Yes, it is difficult, but not impossible. Jennifer has two choices: she can stay miserable and keep punishing herself and God, or she can choose to get back into living her life for God and do something constructive.
          God saves us for two reasons, and two reasons only: fellowship with Him, and tell others about Him so they know they can choose heaven or hell. Depression keeps us out of fellowship with God, keeps our attention focused on ourselves, and keeps us from spreading the Good News that Jesus loves and wants to save people from their sin.
          Depression, like happiness, is a choice. We all get depressed from time to time but we don’t have to take up permanent residence there.
          The only legitimate reason for depression is loss of a loved one and having no one around for moral support. But even then, God wants us to turn to Him. He’s a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He promised never to leave us or forsake us. If we aren’t close to God, guess who moved?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Do You Set Yourself Up To Fail?

By Aleta Kay

          You’re an addict: alcohol, drugs, sex, food, etc. You’ve done your time; paid your dues, been through detox, perhaps have been Baker-acted. Yet, when you get back to “life” you find yourself beating your head against the wall as you fight the same demons. You want to change. You want to do what’s right, but you keep falling into the same pit. You feel like giving up. What’s the use?
          That is the problem: giving in to “what’s the use.” The only difference between successful people and losers is this: what does it take to make you quit? Winners never give up. I heard this song when I was in elementary school and it has stuck with me: “High Hopes”
                    Once there was a silly old ram
                    Thought he’d punch a hole in the dam
                    Everyone knows a ram can’t
                    Punch a hole in a dam

                    But he had high hopes
                    He had high hopes
                    He had high apple pie-in-the-sky hopes

                    So any time you’re feelin’ low
                    ‘Stead of lettin’ go just remember that ram
                    And you’ll have high hopes
                    You’ll have high hopes
                    You’ll have high apple pie-in-the-sky hopes

          There’s more to the song but you get the idea. Don’t give yourself excuses to give up. When you fall (as we ALL do), pick yourself up, clean yourself up, ask God to forgive you, then ask Him to help you do better. Feast on the Word of God. Think of the Bible (King James Version) as food for your soul. It’s SOUL FOOD! The reason I say KJV is because it is the only one in the English language that hasn’t been tampered with and altered to please human ego. Read the Psalms, Proverbs, the gospel of John, and the book of Romans.
 Romans chapter 8 is my personal victory chapter. I was addicted to putting myself down. I was addicted to my temper. I was addicted to self-pity and self-loathing. After years of struggle, I am free. Do I still sometimes fall and put myself down? Do I sometimes indulge in self-pity? Yes. I am still human. But now I catch myself (actually the Holy Spirit catches me) and I go back to that chapter and remind myself that I don’t have to be like that anymore. I’m a child of the King! I am a princess (according to Scripture). If God is for me, who can be against me? I’m moving on. How about you?
Hang in there. Keep trying. You can do it! Yes, you can! Don't let the devil win. You are worth every effort you make. Every time you try again you have won a skirmish. That makes you a winner! Every time the devil tells you you're a loser, remind him he's a stupid rebel who got kicked out of heaven. That makes him a loser and pretty stupid for thinking he could beat God. The Bible says he's a liar and the father of all lies. Don't let him win. You're better than that! You will make it, no matter how many tries it takes.

Monday, April 2, 2012

All Things Work Together For Good

by Aleta Kay

          There’s an old story that’s been circulating for quite a while now. I may not remember it exactly but it goes something like this:
          A neighbor stopped by to talk to farmer Joe one day. “Heard your tractor broke down, Joe. I’m sorry to hear it. You need any help?”
          “No, I don’t need any help,” Joe said. “My mule was pulling the tractor and he stumbled and broke his leg.”
          “Oh, that’s too bad,” the neighbor said.
          “No, that’s good,” farmer Joe said. “When the mule broke his leg my boy fell and broke his arm.”
          “Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. That’s too bad, Joe.”
          “No, that’s good,” Joe replied.
          The neighbor scratched his head and said, “I don’t understand. How can you say all that’s good?”
          “Well, it’s like this,” Joe said. “If my mule hadn’t broke his leg, the tractor wouldn’t have broke down. If those two things hadn’t happened my boy wouldn’t have broken his arm. If he hadn’t broken his arm the army would have taken him and he’d be in a war zone now.” All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

          I just lost my job after five years of trying to please the company. Now don’t get me wrong. The company I worked for was great. The benefits were great. They bend over backwards to try to help you succeed at this job. And they do a lot for their employees. But I’m 60 years old and don’t work as fast as I used to. I’m not good at multi-tasking and my memory chip is about full so I don’t memorize as good as I did when I was 20. It was a high-pressure job.
          Some of my co-workers have called and asked if I’m okay. I am thankful for their friendship and support. How am I doing? I’m ECSTATIC!!! I can get out and go for a walk every morning. I have time to speak to my neighbors. I can collect unemployment (at the company’s expense since they have to contribute the money to pay my unemployment benefits) while working at and learning what I have wanted to do all my life—write. I belong to LinkedIn with several writers groups there and am looking forward to finally having the time to read some of the posted information about marketing and promoting your work.
          I have made a schedule for myself to work at my writing and research every day except weekends. If I could keep a schedule at work, I can keep a schedule at home and work at what I love doing—writing. I have already written a children’s story, have an idea for another, and have written 6-8 pages on two novels I’m working on. I have more time to spend with church friends, keeping up with family, and I can tell anyone I want to about Jesus and not have to fear losing my job because of it. I work for the Lord now. Ye-hah!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

What Has God Ever Done For Me?

by Aleta Kay

          I often hear this question from people who have suffered a tragic loss: the death of a child or spouse; a lingering, debilitating illness; or the loss of home due to weather or loss of job.    
          I understand the grief (I have suffered the loss of both of my parents and younger brother), but it is important to recognize that all people suffer and have problems. Your neighbor may seem to be living in full ease and enjoyment of life but that doesn’t mean he has never had a problem.
          The Bible tells us that it is appointed unto a man once to die. Everyone at some point in their lives will lose a loved one, and it will not always be an older person. Since none of us knows how many days are allotted to us, it is imperative that we make our preparations to meet our maker. And if we are prepared to meet Him, we will be in a better place anyway. This world is not getting better; it is getting worse by the day as we see more and more children committing heinous crimes. Lawlessness is increasing. Our government is slowly legislating away our rights. The world in general is seeing more and more natural disasters, more devastation.
          The Bible, God’s holy Word, teaches us that all of these things will come to pass. Everything it has predicted would happen until now has happened, and more prophecy is being fulfilled, it seems, almost on a monthly basis.
          If God is so good why does He let these things happen? First of all because He knows man is stubborn and will only turn to God when man thinks he needs God. When things are good we ignore Him. God wants our fellowship. After all, He created us. Secondly, He wants us to know we need Him. He wants us to ask Him for help. He delights in doing things for us and in helping us through our struggles. He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. Though family and friends turn their backs on us, God never does. Finally, He allows us to go through these things to make us stronger so we can help others who are struggling. We are here to help and encourage each other. We are here to warn people of darker days coming and assure them that, if they put their faith and trust in Christ Jesus, the life after this one is far better than anything we can imagine. This life is temporary. This body is temporary. The bodies we get after this life will either be fit for hell and eternal torment, or fit for heaven where there is no more pain or heartache.
          Why would you, or anyone, feel that you should be exempt from suffering and death? Why should you be different from everyone else? What has God done for you? He loved you so much that He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to take your punishment for sin upon Himself, suffer more than any human being has ever done, and die on a cruel cross. But the story doesn’t end there. He rose again that He might conquer death, hell and the grave. Because He lives we also can live eternally with Him, or without Him. He even loved us enough to let us choose. God doesn’t send people to hell. He simply speaks the sentence that we have passed upon ourselves. Heaven is available to all who will be believe.
          If you have suffered a loss, turn to God. Give Him your heartache. He wants to comfort you and strengthen you. He wants to help you through this. The Bible says God stores our tears in a bottle. Just as Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem; just as He wept over the tomb of Lazarus because of the grief of his sisters, Mary and Martha, so He weeps with you. Give Him a chance. It will take time, but joy will come again. Just get through this day. Tomorrow will take care of itself.