Monday, April 30, 2012

The Picture Of True Love
By Aleta Kay

          I was appalled to hear on the news the other day that the divorce rate among couples aged fifty and older has drastically increased. I have to ask myself why. My husband and I have just entered our sixties and we’re very happy together. So what’s wrong with these other couples?
          The news media interviewed a man who had gotten divorced within the last five years (he and his wife were in their fifties) and a woman, now in her late fifties or early sixties who had been divorced also within the last five years. Both of them said they had the freedom now to follow their dreams, to do what they want to do. They were amazed at how free they felt. How sad it seems to me that they have to experience this alone.
          Marriage is not supposed to be stifling. Yes, there are responsibilities, and sometimes extremely frustrating. Yes, when raising a family, you may have to put your dreams on hold, but one person should never deny the other the opportunity to fulfill their dreams. Before a couple ever gets married they should discuss their dreams, make plans to allow those dreams to be fulfilled at some point in their lives. Decide from the start which career path should be given first choice if college or career training will happen during the marriage. If one partner has a job or career that may involve travel it needs to be determined ahead of time if the other person can handle separation or relocation.
          If these changes take place after a couple is married there needs to be a lot of open communication. Ask questions. If you don’t know the answers find them. Get all the information you can. I believe the Bible teaches that, since the husband is the head of the household and accountable to God for that position, the wife should always follow her husband’s lead. It isn’t always easy. Pride and our own will can be very difficult to suppress or deny. Relationships require sacrifice. Why should the wife be the one to sacrifice if necessary? Because Eve was deceived, duped, misled into eating the forbidden fruit. She was the one willing to experiment with things outside of God’s rules. Adam sinned deliberately. Thus the wife is to be under the husband’s protection and guidance. If he makes a mistake or doesn’t do it right, God holds him accountable. Now if the wife rebels and demands her own way, God will hold her accountable because she has again chosen to ignore God. She is again being deceived by her own will into doing what is wrong. It is possible to do the right thing for the wrong reason. There is never a right reason to disobey God.
          On the other hand, we live near my husband’s parents. I have the best in-laws in the world. They are a treasure to me. They are in their eighties and not as healthy as they once were. My father-in-law, Dewayne, has been an amputee for over forty years. His stump gives him a lot of pain and he has to have a new prosthesis made every few years. He is on a lot of medication and can no longer walk upright. He uses a cane or a walker even when he has his artificial leg on. My mother-in-law is much smaller than he, and she has to help him in and out of their vehicle when they have doctor appointments or if they go out to eat. She has to help him get dressed, put his leg on, etc. She sometimes suffers from vertigo, hypoglycemia, and other things. She doesn’t always feel like taking care of him. But she does it. Sometimes it wears her down, and although she may complain occasionally, she wouldn’t trade him in for anything. She has no desire to dump him. She is not in a hurry for him to die. When he has a sleepless night, so does she. She is the picture of love for him. She considers herself blessed. He is blessed to have such a faithful and loving wife. She is my role model.

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