Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Are You Mad at God?

by Aleta Kay

           Many people get mad at God when they lose a child or other loved one. This is normal. Anger is one of the five stages of grief that people usually go through. People get angry at the person who died because there are so many things left undone or unsaid, or because now is there is a great financial burden or the burden of caring for property or another person without the help of the deceased. They get angry at God for not allowing the deceased to live longer.
          The other four stages are blame, depression, withdrawal or holding back emotions from others that we love, and finally acceptance. These are all normal but not everyone goes through all of these stages. When my brothers and I lost our dad, and then our mom, we grieved because we missed them. Our dad had suffered with emphysema for many years and finally died in his sleep. We were thankful he wasn’t suffering any more. I was able to lead him to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ before he died so I know he is in heaven with the Lord.
          Our mom had a massive heart attack and three subsequent strokes. After the third stroke the only thing she could move was her eyes. The doctors told us there was no physical therapy they could do that would improve her situation. So with many tears and hugs we told our mom if it was better for her to let go, then let go. We would miss her but we would be okay. I wish I knew for sure that Mom is in heaven. She assured me she knew Jesus but I had never seen any evidence of it in her life. She was a “good” person by society standards, but as discussed in previous articles, we can never be good enough on our own for a just and holy God. The only way to get to heaven through the shed blood of Jesus on the cross.
          The point of all of this is that it is normal to be angry at God for a while. It is normal to be mad at the one who died for a while. But staying angry is a waste of emotion and energy. What does it change? It may cause you severe health problems. Proverbs tells us that bitterness is as rottenness in the bones. Unresolved bitterness and anger will cause major health problems and won’t affect the one you are angry with at all.
God wants to help you through your grief. If you’ve lost a child your spouse NEEDS you to help him or her through that grief. It needs to be shared. If you don’t know what to say just cry together. If you blame each other stop criticizing and ask yourselves what could have been done differently.
We all want to blame someone when tragedy occurs. In the end, though, God has all of our days numbered. We won’t always know why a person dies, especially a young person. Often people die because of bad choices they make: the people they hang out with, the activities they participate in. Sometimes they’re just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes they’re in the right place at the wrong time. God sees time as one long continuum. He doesn’t see it split up into seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and years like we do. He knows the beginning from the end. He sees what’s coming down the road. Sometimes He decides our number is up in order to keep us from something worse later. But every baby, every child who has not yet developed a conscience to know right from wrong, when they die, go to heaven to be with Jesus. They are safe. And since they were God’s children before they were yours, doesn’t He have the right to decide what’s best for them? He always does what is best for us, even if we can’t see it.
Trusting God is not always easy, but it is necessary. We can’t change God. We can’t change what happened. What we can change is our attitude, the way we think about things. It may take time to get to the place of acceptance and getting past the anger. But for your health’s sake, for the sake of your remaining loved ones, and for the sake of a possible future home in heaven, please ask God to help you get over your anger. He can’t help you if you don’t let Him. He isn’t mad at you. The death of that loved one was not a punishment for you. God wants to open new doors down the road. He’s knocking at your heart’s door now. Won’t you invite Him in? He loves you.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

I’ve Got My Ticket to Heaven

by Aleta Kay

There was a segment on the news last night showing a little boy, probably between ages seven and ten, who was asked if someone would go to heaven or hell. With a serious, stern look on his young face, the child answered that the person spoken of would go to hell. I only saw the preview for the segment, not the actual report.
          Based on the trailer for the report, it appeared the news media was highlighting people who train their children to hate. The trailer made it appear that Christians are people who hate anyone who is not a Christian. I wish I could have stayed up to see the whole report.
          This is the question: Is it an act of hatred to speak the truth? When a person sits before a judge in a courtroom he promises to tell the truth. He will be held in contempt and spend a few days in jail if he is found to be lying. When he speaks the truth does that mean he hates the person he is testifying against? No. He is simply doing what is right.
          When a doctor tells a patient he has cancer, is that doctor hating the patient? No. He is doing what is right.
          When a Christian tells a person they will go to hell if they don’t repent of their sins, they are not saying they hate that person. If the Christian is saying it properly, the person receiving the message will feel the love of God, knowing that this is a warning, a plea to please turn your life, your will, over to God so you don’t end up in a hell that was created for Satan and his angels (demons).
          I am just as upset with “Christians” who preach hate and damnation as anyone else. These people may or may not be Christians. That is not for me to decide. However, the Bible, God’s word, clearly teaches us to speak the truth in love. “God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.” People who end up in hell go to hell because they reject God and His love. God takes no pleasure in passing the sentence.
          Please don’t lump all Christians together as religious fanatics who hate everyone else. Most of us are not like that, but those are the ones that get media attention. They are not doing God any favors.
          God loves you and wants to give you His very best. In fact He did, when He sent His only begotten Son (Jesus the Christ) to die on a cruel cross for your sins and mine. Christians aren’t perfect; just forgiven. Think about it; and please don’t reject Christ and His gift because of some misguided Christians.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Do the Holidays Make You Depressed?

by Aleta Kay

          The holidays are hard for a lot of people. They’ve recently lost a loved one or they are alone with little, if any, human contact. Some are in the hospital or have debilitating illnesses and they just want to give up.
          There is a widow in our church who really amazes me. Her husband died in March after over fifty years of marriage. She is still grieving and I know the nights alone are probably the worst times for her. Yet she continues to come to church. She volunteers at a food bank. She opens her home to those who have no place to go. She continually reaches out to others.
          This dear lady doesn’t brag about what she does. She doesn’t even mention it unless it comes up in conversation. She smiles a lot, even though the smile doesn’t always reach her eyes. She makes me want to reach out more, do more. She is an inspiration and doesn’t even know it.
          We all have times in our lives when circumstances beyond our control come in and attempt to overwhelm us. We are not immune to sadness, discouragement, and depression. God knew that. That’s why Jesus said, “Come unto me all you that labor, and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:28, 29.
          The book of Isaiah (chapter 9) tells us that Jesus was a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. He knows how you feel. He feels your pain. He wants to take your pain and give you His comfort and peace. He doesn’t promise you’ll never feel lonely, depressed or sad again. He does promise He will be with you and help you through. He promises that, if you let Him, He will ease it over time and make it easier to bear. He will teach you to smile in spite of your circumstances. He loves you.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

How Long Has It Been?

by Aleta Kay

How long has it been since you prayed for your man,
To change those things that only God can?
How long has it been since you went on a date,
Instead of arguing and fretting with your mate?
How long has it been since you shared a meal,
Talking, teasing, and flirting with zeal?
How long has it been since you two held hands,
Or walked on boardwalk or beach’s sands?
How long has it been you said, “I love you—“
Was it the day you spoke the words “I do?”

If the time is so long you can’t remember,
Today is the day you need to surrender;
To take that first step to bridge the gap;
Hold fast to today; tomorrow may not come;
Seize the moment; don’t waste it as some.
Relationships are hard—take time and work;
Don’t put it off; please don’t shirk.
Take time to try to understand your mate;
See his point of view; tomorrow could be too late.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Blended Family Discipline

by Aleta Kay

          You’ve just gotten re-married. Or maybe you’ve been re-married for quite a while. You have his and hers children and one parent dare not discipline the other’s children. This is a recipe for family implosion. Every child needs two parents. (I know sometimes that’s impossible; for instance if you have been widowed.) If you marry someone it should be someone your children respect and like. If they don’t like the new “parent” or don’t respect him or her your home will be a constant battle ground.
          Here are a couple (or perhaps few) suggestions.
          1) The kids need to get to know the other parent long before the marriage takes place. They will need time to adjust. Accepting someone new in the absent parent’s place is difficult. Your children still love the absent parent.
          2) Let your children express their feelings (respectfully). Consider their feelings. Talk things out. If they have problems with the person you are going to marry, better to get those things out in the open before the marriage takes place.
          3) Treat your children as if their feelings and opinions matter. If you want them to respect you then they also need a level of respect from you. They will learn their attitudes from watching you. Contrary to media opinion, Children learn more from the people they live with than from their peers. They may be more influenced by their peers during their teen years, but you start shaping them from the time they are born.
          It is true that you cannot live your life to please your children. But if you want peace in your home, wait on the marriage until they have had time to adjust. And although living together first is the popular method of getting to know each other, think about this: how can you teach your 12 and 13 year-olds not to engage in sex if they see you doing it outside of marriage.  They do not see why it should be okay for you and not them. It is the hypocrite that says, “Don’t do as I do; do as I say.” Kids know this is wrong. Like it or not, they will model your behavior. If you want to prevent them from STD’s teach them abstinence until marriage. Model the behavior. If you have already set the wrong example, apologize to your kids and try to correct the situation.
          I know there are shots and pills and condoms to prevent disease but the Bible still holds true: “They that sow to the flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption.” Multiple sex partners pollutes the body. Today we are more concerned about the environment than we are about our own health and well-being.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

What Does God Hate?

by Aleta Kay

          We see so-called Christians carrying signs on the news every day: “God hates homosexuals.” “God hates abortionists.” “God hates….” No wonder so many people shy away from God. Why would anyone want to worship or serve a God that hates them? To those of you who have been the brunt of such messages I want to apologize. God does not hate you; He hates the sin. Just as we hate having our feelings hurt; just as we hate injustice; just as we hate cruelty—God hates sin. You are not sin; you (and every person in the world) are a sinner. You can’t help it. You are born with sin and you can’t eradicate it. It is your nature. It’s why Jesus took your, and my, penalty on the cross. He was the only sinless person ever to live—because He is also God. Don’t ask me to explain it. It defies human comprehension.
          What does God hate? God hates the actions of hatred, bigotry, self-righteousness. God hates pride because pride exalts itself above others. Jesus humbled himself. He left the splendor of heaven, the riches of eternity, the joy and peace of a perfect place, to come to earth to be born to poor parents in a lowly stable (yes, He chose them) so that He might show us that He identifies with us and loves us.
          The Bible says there are six things God hates; seven are an abomination to him (seven is the number perfection or completeness): a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked imaginations, feet that are swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among the brethren. Proverbs 6:16-19. Nowhere in this passage does it say God hates the people. He hates the actions.
          So don’t be afraid to approach God. You can’t be so bad He won’t forgive you. The only sins He won’t forgive are blasphemy against the Holy Spirit (attributing God’s works to Satan) and rejection of His Son, Jesus the Christ. He’s waiting for you. He has the answers to all of your problems, hurts and fears. He’s knocking on your heart’s door waiting for you to let Him in.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Eternal Question: Why Am I Here?

by Aleta Kay

          Throughout the ages people have asked: “Why am I here? What is my purpose?” The answer is: to have fellowship with God and to tell others about Him.
          God is an eternal spirit. He created the angels but they don’t have a choice whether or not to love God. They merely exist to do His will. But He didn’t just want a bunch of robots. So He created man (and woman). [By the way, the reason we turn to dust after a few years in the ground is because that’s what we’re made of. We really are just piles of dirt—but we are made by God and He loves us.]
          God used to walk in the garden with Adam and Eve. He talked to them. He had fellowship with them. He wanted them to remain pure and innocent, but He knew He had to give them a choice to follow Him or not. So God put the serpent (Satan) in the garden. You know the rest of the story. Eve was beguiled by someone more worldly wise than she. She in turn tempted her husband to sin. That was the fall of man.
          But it was necessary for man (and woman) to fall into sin in order for God to show the depth of His love toward us. In due time, He sent His only begotten son to die on a cruel cross for our sins. He has been trying to draw us back into that same fellowship He had with Adam in the garden.
          Every single person in the world was created by God with the express purpose of enjoying a Father/child relationship. I believe that everyone who rejects God is rejecting the most awesome kind of love anyone can imagine. I can tell you from experience that no love on earth even comes close to the love of God. Why would anyone reject it?

Monday, November 14, 2011

What Kind Of Example Are You?

by Aleta Kay

You’re a parent, a big brother or sister, a classmate at school, a co-worker. Whatever your station in life, you affect other people. Other people are watching you. You may not care what others think of you but you should be concerned about whether you are a model for good behavior or bad. Are you encouraging others to be kind, thoughtful, gentle, and humble; or are you an example of restlessness, brooding, moodiness, gossip, fighting and starting trouble?
          In this world some people are leaders and some are followers. There will always be someone following in your footsteps, following your lead, your example. All of us are leaders to someone. Someone wants to be like you.
          If you are Christian (which means follower of Christ) you are either leading people to Jesus by your example, or you are sending them to hell by your example. God will hold you accountable. People who watch you may never tell you what they think of your example but the effect is there nonetheless. The world (unbelievers in Christ) knows without being told that Christians shouldn’t curse, wear revealing clothing, behave in a boastful or showy manner. They know Christians shouldn’t listen to secular music or watch dirty movies. They know that Christians shouldn’t get drunk or do drugs or sleep around. If people who don’t know Christ are aware of how a Christian should behave, why are so many Christians seemingly unaware?
          I know we aren’t perfect. We are all sinners and will be for as long as we are in this mortal body, but our sins should be different from those who are not Christians. The closer we walk with God the more we should want to be like Him. If you’re not close to God, guess who moved?
          Please, for the sake of those around you and your own sake, please read and study your Bible so you can be the example God wants you to be. Please don’t be the kind of example that will cause someone to say, “If that’s a Christian, why do I need to get saved? I can do all that without being a Christian.” Please work at having a good account with God so that when you meet Him face to face He can say, “Well done, my child. Welcome home.”

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Is Your Mind a Battleground?

by Aleta Kay

          Holidays are approaching fast. Life becomes more harried, more frustrating, more demanding. There doesn’t seem to be enough of you to go around. On top of that, you’ve lost a loved one or there’s a serious accident or illness that demands more of your time and energy. Your mind is racing constantly over all the things that need to be done and the bills from these added events are coming in. Where is the money going to come from? How are you ever going to able to get everything done? Even the simple daily chores seem to grow into mountains as things pile up because you can’t keep up.
          I can’t tell you why things happen. They just do. It’s life. No one is exempt from heartache or problems (not even rich people). We all have problems because of sin. It isn’t specific sin that causes us problems. It is our sin nature. The Bible tells us that because Adam sinned in the Garden of Eden the sin nature was passed on to all people. It is a curse and Jesus is the only cure.
          Now I’m not saying that when you put your trust in Jesus you will never have another problem. On the contrary, they may increase because now the devil is mad because he has lost his grip on you.
          But as a child of God, as a Christian, you now have a constant advocate, helper and friend who goes with you everywhere and stays by you 24/7 to help you get through everything.  I Peter 5:7 says, “Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.”  Proverbs 18:24 says we have a friend who sticks closer than a brother. That friend is Jesus. Go to him in prayer. Ask him to take your burdens, your worries, your fears and let him give you his peace and comfort.  He’s waiting with open arms. God bless and have a joyful holiday season.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Free Anger Management

by Aleta Kay

I don’t mean to meddle. The purpose for this column is to offer help and advice. This week I’m getting off the marriage track to talk about child abuse. Please understand, this column is not about criticizing. We are who and what we are as adults because of those things we learned from primary people in our lives as we were growing up. My mother was abusive. She didn’t mean to be, and it wasn’t all the time. We had some fun times together but when she lost her temper everyone ran for cover.
From the time I was nine until I was eighteen I was convinced she hated me. Convincing myself of that was my armor against emotional pain. I did not want to be like my mother in that respect. Unfortunately, we are what we learn. When my son was little, up to when he was about five years old, I was an abusive parent. I didn’t mean to be. I didn’t want to be abusive, and I didn’t like that about myself.
One day I did something so horrible, I was afraid I had really hurt my son. I hugged him, cried, and apologized. At that moment I hated myself more than I ever had before. I had just asked God to save me from my sins and make me a new person a few months before (maybe even a year) but I had held onto my temper as my defense against being mistreated. Now I had to really face myself. I asked God to take my temper and replace it with his peace. I never wanted to hurt my child again. I never did hurt my children but, even after all these years, I still struggle with my temper. I don’t hurt people any more; I just yell at things that don’t work like they’re supposed to: like computers. So if you have problems with your temper, and you tend to take things out on your children, please ask God to save your soul, make you a new person, take away your anger and replace it with his peace. He will. And you will become someone you can like and you will be a better parent. The cost is free. Let me know how it works out for you. I care.
By the way, it is important to ask God to replace your temper with His peace. The Bible says if we sweep the house clean of evil and don't replace it with good, the evil will return with multiplied severity.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Holiday Celebrations on a Budget

by Aleta Kay

         With the economy in the shape it’s in and so many people out of work, family tensions run high. We still want to give gifts, decorate and bake. But we don’t want to have to argue with our husbands about the finances of these endeavors. How can we keep our traditions, make home look great, do all of the baking we want without causing frustration, anger and world war three in our homes?
          I do not have the gift of decorating but I have a few ideas. First, hit the yard sales. People who are not struggling may be getting rid of a lot of nice but used things, ready for a new look this year. Check them out. You may also find some plain wooden ornaments you can paint yourself or let the kids paint them. It doesn’t matter if they’re beautiful. What matters is that they have fun doing it. Let them use their creative spirit to build yours and build fun memories.
          Pick up some pine cones, buy a bottle of glue at the thrift store, and a bag of confetti or shiny sparkly sprinkles. Put glue on the tips of the cones and sprinkle the shiny stuff on. Let them dry and glue two or three together at the ends for a decorative centerpiece. Or you can glue some of the petals together at the sides to form a circle and put a candle in the center.
          Go to the thrift store or dollar store and buy some pieces of red and green felt. Cut out Christmas tree shapes, candy canes (red and green stripes sewed together and stuffed with cotton balls) and paint them with fabric paints. Hang them on the tree or lay them out in a pretty design on coffee table or dinner table.
Again at the thrift store, pick up a box of cider mix. Pour two or three packets into a small crock pot or potpourri pot and let simmer for about an hour before guests arrive. The aroma will make your home an inviting place to be. Add a cinnamon stick for added aroma pleasure.
For your baking, choose recipes with the least amount of ingredients with the highest yield. If you’re having guest over invite them t bring their favorite goodies so you don’t have to do it all.
Holiday meals on a shoestring? Go to and look at the specials for your local grocery stores. Find out if they accept competitor coupons and/or have buy one/get one free deals. Plan your list around the store specials and buy one get one free deals. Make sure you have at least two of every coupon. Our Publix store allows you to use a coupon for the free item as well as the sale priced item. Both Sweet Bay and Publix accept competitor coupons. Check with your local store to get their rules for couponing. You can save a lot of money. If there isn’t a package size specification get the smallest package you can. You may end up getting money back. Buy in bulk and stock up whenever possible when you find the specials. Sunday circular coupons tend to run in 12 week cycles for types of products featured: over-the-counter medicines, beauty products and personal hygiene one week, household cleaning supplies and laundry another, canned soups and vegetables another, then baby products, etc.
If you can’t afford to do everything you want to, just do what you can. Teach your children that Christmas is not about how much you get; it’s about appreciating what you get. After all, the reason we celebrate Christmas is to rejoice in the fact that God sent His only begotten son to be born as a human so He could identify with our suffering, knowing it would end on a cruel cross for our sins. Jesus is the reason for the season. God bless.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Is Everyone a Child of God?

by Aleta Kay

          Let me start off by saying I don’t hate anyone and I don’t think I’m any better than anyone else. We are all sinners, every last one of us. There are no perfect people.
          Many people I meet believe that everyone is a child of God. We are all God’s children just trying to make it through this life. We do our best and hope the good we do outweighs the bad so we can go to heaven when this life is over. I have another friend who believes it doesn’t matter what you call God—Allah, Muhammad, Buddha, Hare Krishna, it’s all the same god, we just use a different telephone line to call him. This is what Satan wants everyone to believe. If you believe this then you don’t know the true God and you are none of His.
          The very first commandment God gave us was: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” What got the Hebrew people in trouble with God continually was their worship of idols and the gods of the countries around them. Some worshipped Chemosh; some worshipped Molech; Baal; Astarte; Ishtar; the list could go on for quite some time. Every time the Hebrew people (God’s chosen people) turned to idols and false gods instead of Him, they ended up being besieged by those same pagan countries, often being held as slaves, until such time as they repented and turned back to The God. It does matter who and what you serve and worship. The Bible says God is a jealous God. He has a right to be since He is the only creator.
          If everyone were a child of God there would be no need for 2 Chronicles 7:14—“If MY people, who are called by MY name, will humble themselves and pray, and seek MY face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”
          Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice and they follow me.” He also said, “He that is not with me is against me.” It’s true that God created everyone, but only those who love Him and follow His will are His children.” Jesus told the religious leaders that had Him crucified that their father was the devil.
          I have a song on a CD that asks the question: “Who owns you?” Does God own you or does Satan own you? There is no middle ground. And if you don’t believe that Jesus is God, you don’t worship the true God because scripture plainly teaches from Genesis to revelation that He is. Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, God incarnate, the eternal one. God bless.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Hope-Filled Music

by Aleta Kay

          Today is a totally different article. It will be very short but I hope you take my suggestion and look at these sites. If the music doesn't lift your spirits then you are severely depressed and should probably seek professional help. I Google searched Amazing Grace Native American Cherokee. It is absolutely breath-taking with paintings and poetry that lift the spirit while "Amazing Grace" is being sung in the Cherokee language. It's on U Tube. On the right hand side are other inspirational (and some not so inspirational) U-Tube videos to look at. So take your pick and enjoy. I'll post another blog tomorrow afternoon. God bless.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Problem With Promiscuity Part 2

by Aleta Kay

         The last article about promiscuity was primarily aimed at adults. This is more for you teenagers out there who just want to have fun. However, it also applies to adult women who are unattached.
          Here are some things to consider: 1) Anyone who knows biology knows that sex can result in pregnancy. If you aren’t ready to be a parent, abstinence is the best policy. Yes, I know about condoms and birth control. I also know that they are not foolproof, they can be forgotten or dismissed as too much trouble in the heat of passion.
          2)STD’s in this country are rampant. Every time you have sex with more than one person, you are passing on to the next one whatever bacteria may have been mixed in you from the previous person. HIV is one of those.
          3)The HPV (human papaloma virus) is only caused by sex. The Bible says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap; and he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.” In other words, if you have a devil-may-care attitude about your body and you sleep around, you can expect your body to pay you back. This is not God getting back at you. This is God telling you how life works. It’s a fact of nature. However, if you put God first in your life and allow Him to take up residence in your heart (this is the Holy Spirit) you are promised eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ our Lord.
          4)You may have pleasure in those illicit sinful liaisons you will like yourself less and less and will give more and more of yourself away, whittling away your self-esteem until you feel completely worthless. It will become harder and harder to find a man who will honor and respect you. You have already given the impression that you think you’re just a piece of meat to be used and thrown away.
          You are worth more than that. God values you and wants you to do the same. Saving yourself for marriage may be old fashioned and weird in this day and time but don’t you deserve to have something pure and unspoiled to give to the person you’re going to marry? By the way, you also deserve someone who has saved himself  for you.
          If you have already been promiscuous, it is not too late to start over. Ask God to forgive you (He will) and ask Him to help you change and stop the destructive behavior. You still have value. Don’t give up on yourself. If you have a disease, get medical attention; be honest with the person you intend to marry someday, apologize for your past mistakes, ask that person to forgive you and do your best to change. With God’s help anything is possible. (Philippians 4:13). Best wishes. If you want help, please contact me at  I will be happy to help you find medical professionals, counseling, whatever you need. Don’t give up on yourself. I care.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Power of Love

by Aleta Kay

          It seems everyone these days wants power. Women want to be empowered to fight every disease on the planet, be super women at work, super models, super moms, super athletes, super at everything but marriage and being a wife. Some women aren’t very good at being super moms either. They have too many other demands on their time.
          So what is love? How do we have time to show love to our kids and husbands and still be superwomen? Well, the Bible’s definition of a superwoman is not the same as the rest of the world.
          If you want to have a great family, be a superwoman in the eyes of your husband and kids, here’s the secret: forget about yourself. Forget your agenda. Forget your jewelry, make-up, looking beautiful. They don’t care near as much about that as they do about you spending time with them. Make your husband and kids (in that order) your number one priority and you will have a great family.
          Jesus set the example. He died to His own desires. He left the splendor of heaven; the riches of His origin, to be born as a lowly human in the most humble of circumstances to show us what love is. He lived it every day of His earthly life. He willingly laid down His life in the cruelest form of execution known to man. While on the cross He forgave His executioners and tormentors. He had compassion on those who put Him on that cross. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. I John 4:11 says, “If God so loved us, so ought we to love one another.” Love that is not willing to give 100% expecting, asking nothing in return, is not genuine love. It is a form of love with selfish motives. Jesus went to the cross because He loved us (and still does, now that He is seated at the right hand of the Father).
          If you really, genuinely love your family, you will risk their disdain, anger, or even hatred, and tell them of the love of Christ so they may avoid an eternity in the flames and torments of hell, and live instead in heaven for all eternity. That’s how you get to be a superwoman, super wife, and super mom. Give it all you got. You only get one lifetime to do it right.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

The Problems with Promiscuity Part I

by Aleta Kay

The Bible tells us that God has an order, a hierarchy, for families. The husband is to be the head of the household, the one responsible for keeping order. He’s the one responsible for seeing to it that the family is taken care of financially. He is responsible for making sure there is always enough money for food, clothing and shelter. He is also supposed to be the chief protector.
What happens in a single-mom household? What happens when young girls and women are not careful about who they choose to have children with?
As a single mom you carry the entire burden for the family. You are solely responsible for the finances, the discipline, food, clothing and shelter. You are responsible for answering to creditors, bill collectors, teachers. You have no one to ask for guidance or protection from anyone who would do you harm. You have no one to back you up in discipline, no one to protect you from your children’s sass, belligerence, and attitude.
Once, when our daughter was about 16 or 17, we were arguing (she had pushed my buttons and before I knew it we were in a shouting match) she drew her hand back as if she was going to hit me. Rage tore through me and I told her to pack her bags; she wasn’t staying with us any more. I spent the next two hours making phone calls trying to find a place that would take her. My husband, however, at the time she drew her hand back, told her if she ever raised a hand to me again she wouldn’t live to talk about it. Things calmed down and we didn’t need to send her away. But it felt good to know I had a husband to back me up.
If you are merely living with someone or if you are re-married, will that man back you up when your children disrespect you? Don’t you think it would be wise to choose someone who loves and respects you, and is willing to teach your children the same?

Friday, November 4, 2011

Afraid to Trust

by Aleta Kay

You’ve been hurt so many times in your life you’ve lost count. People you thought you could trust let you down. You let your guard down again, and you got burned. You have decided the only person you can trust is yourself.
Okay. Good. You’ve been living by this principle for a while now and it seems to be working. You tell yourself you’re tough. You can handle anything. You’re doing great. You can put in as many hours as anyone else. Your kids don’t seem any the worse off for your lack of presence. They have friends and other people they spend time with. Their grades are good and they aren’t getting in trouble. They like the money you bring home and they get most of the stuff they want. That’s good–right? That means it’s working–right?
But there’s that little nagging thought that maybe you’ve sacrificed something important to keep that wall in place. You’re beginning to admit that you might be getting tired of working so hard. You’re hearing rumors that maybe your children are doing things you aren’t aware of. You tell yourself the rumors can’t be true if their grades are good. Surely they’re getting those grades honestly. Your life is in perfect order. You’ve told yourself nothing can go wrong.
Then one day the bottom falls out. Someone at work has beat you out of that promotion. The company is downsizing and you’re making too much money for them to keep you. They’re going to replace you with someone younger and less costly. They’ll pay them half of your salary. On top of that, you’re getting some resentment from your children that you are beginning to take an interest in their lives. And they are going to other adult figures whose values are different from yours to get their answers to life.
What can you do? Jer 33:3 says, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” The idea here is to keep seeking and asking. Weep over the situation and plead with God to turn the situation around. The purpose is not for yourself, or even for your children. The purpose should be to bring honor and glory to God that the world may see what a great and powerful God he is.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I’m A Good Person

by Aleta Kay

Here’s the litany: I don’t do drugs. I don’t cheat on my taxes, tests, or spouse. I don’t lie. I don’t steal. I’ve never killed anyone. I’m a good person. I’m okay. I’m on my way to heaven because I’m a good person.
          All of those things may be true but without Jesus you are still a sinner on your way to hell.
          I’m a good person too, by the world’s standards. But if you are good who or what kept you from being a sinner like everyone else? How good do you have to be to get to heaven? Do you have to have the right religion? Do you have to say so many prayers or do so many good deeds? What exactly does it take to get to heaven? Does God have scales and he weighs your good deeds against the bad?
          The answer to all of those is an emphatic NO. Isaiah 64:6 says, “We are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.” A young man came to Jesus one day and asked what he must do to be saved. He said he had kept all the commandments from his youth up. Really? He NEVER put anything or anyone before God in his life (the first commandment)?
He had NEVER had an engraving, wooden carving, or piece of jewelry that depicted something in nature that he loved? (commandment no. 2: thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image)?
He had NEVER used God’s name as a byword or swear word? NEVER just said “GOD” as a part of everyday speech (commandment number 3: thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain)?
He ALWAYS kept the Sabbath day holy (prepared the day before to not do any work, and just use that day to worship God—commandment number 4)?
He ALWAYS honored his father and mother (commandment number 5)? In other words, he never disobeyed or had a bad attitude? He never complained or griped about how mean or bad his parents were?
He NEVER even thought about killing someone or been angry enough to kill (commandment number 6)? By the way, Proverbs 23:7 says, “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” If you have thought it, it’s as good as doing it
 The young man NEVER committed adultery? Really? (commandment number 7) Matthew 5:28 says, and this is Jesus speaking, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery WITH HER already in his heart.”
He never even thought about stealing anything? He never even accidentally picked up something that wasn’t his, and then was afraid to return it? (commandment number 8)
He NEVER told a lie? He NEVER said something he thought was true, then found out it wasn’t and didn’t bother to go back and correct it? He NEVER exaggerated? He NEVER blamed something on someone else to keep himself out of trouble? (commandment number 9)
He NEVER wanted something someone else had? He was NEVER envious or jealous of someone else and wished he could be like them or have their kind of life? NEVER thought about how he might get what they had? (commandment number 10)
How many times do we have to break a commandment in order to be guilty? If I tell one lie, I’m a liar. If I put something ahead of God one time, I’m an idolater. If I think of committing adultery one time, I’m an adulterer. So who can keep all the commandments? The truth is none of us can keep even one of them all the time. The Ten Commandments were given to show us how much we need God. If there is any good inside of us it is because God put it there. Ephesians 2: 8,9 says, “For grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast.” We cannot save ourselves. Without the shedding of blood (the blood of Christ shed on the cross for our sins) there is no remission of sins. (Hebrews 9:22)
God bless.