Holidays are often stressful for families. Great expectations abound and feelings of resentment and inadequacy bubble and boil like an over-full pan of gravy. We try to get our emotions under control and someone says something or looks at us in a way that makes us want to crawl in a hole and knock their head off at the same time. What can we do? Should we just keep to ourselves and deny the pleasure of the relatives we do get along with? What about their feelings? Sometimes it just gets to be overwhelming and despite our best intentions, we lapse into taking "just one drink," or "just one whatever." Only it doesn't stop with one.
I've never struggled with drug or alcohol addiction but I have friends and loved ones who have. I've watched the turmoil. I witnessed the guilt, repentence, doing better, and another fall cycle. I don't claim to have all of the answers but I serve a God who does.
God loves you right where you are. He wants to take your burdens, your frustrations, your heartaches, your failures. He wants to give you peace. He's waiting for you to ask Him. Once you've asked you have to let Him in. Colossians 3:15 says, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts." It is a choice. You have to be quiet and let it come in. Savor it. Wallow in it. Thank God for giving you His peace.
Many times in the Bible we are told God will neve forsake His children. You can trust Him. He never changes. He is just and holy and forgiving. When you are weak He is strong. He promises that His grace is sufficient for you. He promised He will never tempt you beyond what you are able to handle but will always provide a way of escape. The important thing to remember is not to give yourself opportunity to fall. "Give no place to the devil. Don't provide opportunity for your flesh to win. When temptation hits turn around and run in the other direction.
If you do fall, don't beat yourself up. Ask God to forgive you. Then read Romans 8:1--there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Just try again.
I hope this helps. God bless you and have a wonderful Christmas.