Do You Treat Your Spouse Like an Enemy?

by Aleta Kay



As I walk through this life I see a lot of hurting people, and because the married couple is hurting their children hurt. Divorce hurts everyone. Loud arguing and violence hurts everyone in the family. People argue about how to discipline the children, what religion to raise them in, finances, his wants vs. her wants. The list seems endless. You push his buttons; he pushes your buttons. Add the cost of school supplies, pictures, trips, projects, etc. into the mix and you have a recipe for the blow up of a family. What to do? Who is right?

Obviously we aren’t going to solve everything in this brief space, but here are a few suggestions. First, when you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath; tell the other person you need a few minutes to think. Then go to your room or go for a walk and think about his or her point of view. Are there any valid points? Is there room for compromise? Does the issue have to be solved right now or can you both take time to reason things out?

Make a list of the pros and cons of the situation if there are any. If you have a relationship with God, pray about it.

Don’t feel that you have to be right all the time. Don’t treat the other person as if they are the biggest idiot in the world, and definitely don’t let the children hear you say anything that even remotely resembles that. It will tear down their respect for both of their parents. If they don’t respect you, they will rebel. After all, if you can’t handle your life as an adult, how can they expect you to handle theirs?

Finally, don’t treat each other as enemies. Ephesians 6:10-19 gives us the formula for fighting our battles. The verse that I want to emphasize here is verse 12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Satan (the chief ruler of the darkness of this world) is out to destroy your family. He can only be defeated by the power of God. Whether or not he wins is up to you.