Are You a Scorekeeper?

by Aleta Kay

It’s the third time he’s broken his promise to take you and the kids to...wherever. Something else always comes first. It’s the fifth time he has watched his favorite sport on TV but he gripes if you watch your sitcom. It’s the umpteenth time he’s forgotten to take out the trash and you’ve had to do it yourself. As if all of that isn’t bad enough, you constantly have to pick up after him, do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, play taxi for the kids and their activities, and you have an outside job. I can feel the resentment and anger from my chair. Are you keeping score of all the disappointments in your marriage?

Here’s the question: Are there any advantages in keeping score?

Here are some thoughts to ponder: Do you want him keeping score of the times you’ve disappointed him? Hebrews 10:17 talks about how God forgives. It says, “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” When God forgives he forgets. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west,  so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”

Matthew 6:12, 14 says if you don’t forgive those that have wronged you, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you.

Philippians 4:13, 14 says, “....forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Forget the past. You can’t change it. Dwelling on the past is self-defeating. Philippians 4:8 tells us to not even let negative thoughts in. We are rather to dwell on, ponder, consider, and eagerly look for the good and positive things in each other and in life. Look forward to the future. Plan it–together. Be willing to compromise.

If you want to be happy in your family relationships, forget the things that are past. If you ask God to help you, you can do it. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” You can’t do it by yourself, but with the Holy Spirit living inside, yes you can.