I may be repeating myself from a previous blog here, but it can't be said enough. We make our own problems. The marriage relationship takes patience once the newness wears off. There are two personalities from different backgrounds trying to find common ground. Love is not just hormones. It's commitment, perseverence and understanding. It takes patience and effort. Every day isn't like Valentine's Day.
When financial problems come, don't try to spend behind your husband's back. Talk about what you think you can afford. Work together. Be willing to compromise. Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime but it won't be if you can't compromise.
If you find he's been unfaithful, before playing that blame card, ask yourself honestly if you have been meeting all of his needs. What kind of attitude greets him when he walks in the door? Does he mostly hear laughter in his home or strife? Women usually handle emotional strife better than men, but even we women can get our fill of it and want to blow a gasket and walk away. But walking away doesn't teach you to solve the problem. It only teaches you that it's easy to take the easy way out.
Many years ago, when my husband was ready to give up on us, I went to my knees and asked God to show me what I had done to contribute to the problem. I wasn't shouldering all of the blame, but I wanted to know what my part was. ONE PERSON CAN SAVE THE MARRIAGE! I got into God's word and two books: "Lord, Change Me," by Evelyn Christenson and "Happiness is a Choice" by Drs. Frank Minirth and Paul Meier. I sought out a Christian marriage counselor who was willing to work with our finances. I knew I couldn't handle it all by myself. If you haven't sought God's help, if you haven't sought Godly counseling and searched the Bible for answers, you haven't done all you could.
Most men don't go looking for an affair (there are a few who have to keep proving that they are 'manly men'). Affairs usually happen when the man isn't happy at home, doesn't feel validated, valued, or appreciated. It happens slowly over time. Trust me, there are women in every walk of life who are perfectly willing to destroy your family. Don't give them a chance.
Any woman can have any man she wants if that man isn't being fulfilled and valued by his wife. She doesn't have to be beautiful or smart or even a good housekeeper. All she has to do is be sweeter than you and be sympathetic. Most women don't need a man, but God told us in the book of Genesis when He created Adam and Eve, that God needed a woman to be his help meet, his companion, his proof that he has value. If you aren't willing to be that wife, someone else will be.
If you want to preserve your happy home, give your children stability and teach them about commitment, ask God to help you be the wife your husband needs you to be. You'll be glad you did, but give it time to get better. Your husband isn't going to believe this change right away. He's going to see manipulation. Don't manipulate--appreciate. Be honest in the way you treat him. He deserved it enough for you to marry him. Now you deserve it enough to keep him. Go for it!