As a child and young adult, I hated myself. I hated my life. I had tried half-heartedly to commit suicide a few times as a child, once or twice as an adult. I thoroughly believed I was the ugliest, dumbest thing God had ever made and my life was meant solely as the brunt of cruelty. I was supposed to be the entertainment, the reason for laughter. Me learn to drive a car? I was so dumb and ugly if I got behind the wheel everyone else would get off the road. Get married? Who would want to marry someone as ugly and stupid as I?
I have very little eye-to-hand coordination so I'm not good at any sport. I couldn't climb ropes or dribble a basketball. I was afraid of the horse (in gym class) because if with my luck I'd land on my head or break a bone and cause a big doctor bill. Then my dad would be upset about the amount of money it cost. I did have a few friends, but I was so consumed with my own inadequacies and failures, I was not much of a friend to them.
If you have ever felt like this, or if you have a bad temper (I sure did), are prone to feel sorry for yourself, take others for granted, or have a critical, judgmental nature, I have good news for you.
God wants you to give all of that to Him. He can take those negative things and replace them with His good qualities. Galatians 5:22, 23 says, " But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Notice that this is the fruit of the Spirit (God's Holy Spirit). You cannot make yourself have these attributes for any great length of time. Only the Holy Spirit can make these changes permanent. It takes time and constant fellowship with God the Father, God the Son (Jesus), and God the Holy Spirit. We have this fellowship by first repenting of our sin, asking God to forgive us and clean up our hearts and minds, and asking Him to live His life through us. Then we find a church that preaches the Bible (the King James is the only accurate translation in English), be faithful in Sunday school and church attendance, and read the Bible every day. We need Sunday school to learn about God and His character, and how to live this Christian life. We need church for the fellowship with like-minded believers, and to hear preaching so God can speak to us and show us how He wants to change us, and make us more like Him. We read the Bible every day so He can speak to us and so we can continue to learn about Him. You won't understand everything, but just take what you do understand. Write down any questions you have and ask your pastor or another church member who seems to know their Bible. You will understand more and more as you grow in faith and knowledge.