Monday, March 19, 2012

So You’re Considering Divorce

by Aleta Kay

          When you were dating he paid attention to you. You went out on dates, had fun together. Now he seems to work all the time. When he’s home he’s either glued to the TV, asleep in his chair, or working on something he brought home. What happened to that great guy that used to talk to you for hours about everything? This is not what you signed up for.
          Maybe that’s not the problem. Maybe you think he’s cheating on you, or maybe you know he’s cheating on you.
          Maybe the problem is finances. Most marriages end over financial problems. You think money should be handled one way; he thinks another. Maybe one of you is addicted to spending, or just don’t know how to save.
          Whatever the problem that is making you consider divorce, think about this: every time you give up it’s easier to give up the next time around. Second marriages, and subsequent marriages after that (or other relationships if you skip the marriage step) generally last shorter and shorter lengths of time. If you truly want to be happy, try marriage counseling first, preferable with a Bible-believing pastor. Why? Because counselors who don’t know the Lord will take sides and tell one of you that you have a right to feel the way you do. Generally speaking, they will deepen the chasm between you and your husband. Someone who truly believes the Bible will try to help you find solutions that will work for you so the two of you can be happy together again.
          It isn’t always possible, but most marriages can be saved if given half a chance. Search Bible counselors online if you aren’t sure who to call.  Call a local church and talk to the pastor. Ask how much counseling HE has done (the Bible says women are not to be pastors so if it’s a woman she’s already disobeying God and doing what the Bible says, regardless of her reasons for being in her position). Ask what sources he uses for counseling. If he uses other books, and doesn’t use the Bible, find another counselor. Also call Joyce Meyer ministries. She calls herself a pastor or minister, but is in fact, a Bible teacher; although many men attend her seminars, most of her teaching is geared toward women. Her pastor got her ministry going and her husband is head of her ministry so I don’t have a problem with her. Her ministry started, and has stayed under the authority of men that God has put over her.
          Her ministry can be contacted at: Joyce Meyer Ministries – U.S. Headquarters
P.O. Box 655
Fenton, MO 63026
Phone: 1-800-727-9673
(636) 349-0303 (outside the U.S.)

You can also contact Michael and Debi Pearl at They are both excellent counselors. Michael counsels men; Debi counsels women.

Give your marriage every chance you can before you give up. The other side of the problem is worth all the effort. I know first hand. God bless.

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