by Aleta Kay
You thought he was such a sweet guy when you married him. He just needed a little fine tuning, right? A few little adjustments and he’d be perfect. You knew he needed you to implement those changes.
Here’s the wake-up call: If you don’t love him as he is, you don’t really love him. Sure he has some quirks. Everyone has quirks and eccentricities. We’re all human. If you can’t learn to grow with someone and make some concessions you will end up alone after many failed relationships.
If you really want to see change learn to love him as he is. Genuine love is unconditional. It’s the way God loves us. We don’t have to change to earn God’s love. He loves us as we are. After we put our complete faith and trust in Him, He sends His Holy Spirit to live within our hearts and He helps us change. But the unconditional love came first.
We respond to each other. Kindness is contagious. Nagging and criticism drive people away and cause a lot of emotional damage. I Corinthians 7:14 says, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. Of course this is talking about someone who gets saved (gives his or her life to Christ and asks God to take away their sin and cleanse their hearts) after marriage and the other person is still unsaved. If you belong to God and your husband does not, you need to set the example of what it means to be a Christian. If your spouse sees hypocrisy in you, or manipulation, the message he will get is you think you are now too good for him and he will shut you out. He may even try to make you hate him, telling himself you would be better off with a Christian man. He will feel that he can’t measure up.
I Peter 3:1 says, “Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won the conversation of the wives.” In other words, treat him as if he is your best friend, pray for him continuously, live a godly life, be faithful in church. Be the best wife and mother you can be. Let God do the work.