Monday, October 10, 2011

Are You A Peacemaker Or A Troublemaker?

by Aleta Kay

You and your husband have been married long enough to have a few children of your own. The problem is he has children from a previous marriage and the mother of his other children has demands of her own. It’s causing friction in your family. Your kids wonder where they fit into their dad’s life compared to his other children. They hear the two of you arguing and wonder if their family is going to remain intact. They won’t tell you they are worrying about the stability of their own family situation, but they do worry. On top of that, you can’t stand that other woman and you resent the intrusion of her children. Sure you understand that your husband is their father, but sharing him isn’t easy.
These are some of the things that implode a family. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Do you have to put up with that woman? It wouldn’t be so hard to share your husband with her kids if she wasn’t part of the package.
Your husband is so stressed, he feels like running away from all of you. He’s being pulled in so many directions he doesn’t know where to turn. He wonders if anyone cares about his feelings, which he isn’t sharing because he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, and he doesn’t want to argue, yet it always seems to end up that way anyway.
What’s a family to do?
Matthew 5:9 says, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the earth.”
Romans 12:18 says, “If it be possible, as much as lieth within you, live peaceably with all men.”
It is so important to keep the lines of communication open among your family, without fear of repercussion. The more you encourage your husband and stand by him, the stronger the bond between the two of you. You must choose to trust him and let him be a part of his other children’s lives. Be willing to participate in his outings with his other children but don’t push it. Be the example of grace and patience to the other woman and her children and you come out a winner.  Rom 12:20 says, “Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.”

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