The Passing of Time

We buried my father-in-law on Thursday, March 28, 2013. The body was flown from Florida to West Virginia via Sky med. My mother-in-law flew to a nearby city where she was met by her eldest daughter, Lynn. Lynn had already secured a motel room for them for the night and the next day they went to the funeral home (which had been contacted in advance) to pick out the casket and make the final arrangements.

The graveside service was held with a 21-gun salute, the playing of Taps, the folding of the flag and the presentation of it to my mother-in-law. Two of the sons were then asked to conduct the service. Scripture was read and a hymn was sung, but what caught my attention was the question asked of each of the five kids (now grown): What one thing do feel you learned from Dad? The answers were varied, but all were positive.

This is a family of five grown children with families of their own. There are 11 grandchildren and fourteen living great grandchildren. Another is on the way and some are already in heaven. The core family is Christian in their beliefs and lifestyles; yet there are many in the family who have not embraced this faith. Yet, there is NO ANIMOSITY, no jealousy, no bickering over who does the most to help care for parents or who does the least. Everyone does what they can, even from a distance.

The legacy my father-in-law left, the most important thing this quiet, humble man left his children, was the determination to do the best you can, as often as you can, think of others first and yourself last. It has left a lasting impression on this expanded family of 40 people. What legacy will you leave?

Ode To My Father-in-Law

I saw you look toward heaven today,

At least it seemed that way to me.

I bowed my head and began to pray

That just one more smile from you I'd see.

Then you lowered your head and closed your eyes;

You looked so angry and sad—

To be left in this body, denied the prize

Of going to your heavenly home, your Dad.

Though it hurts to see you suffer so,

Knowing all you have to gain,

It's still so hard to let you go,

Even though we know we'll meet again.

But when the time comes, we'll say goodbye,

We'll thank the Lord for His strength and grace;

We'll kiss your brow and sing you a lullaby;

And god will dry our tears as you finish your race.

Oh How God Loves You

Oh, how He loves you and me; oh, how He loves you and me:

He gave His life; what more could He give?

Oh, how He loves you; oh, how He loves me;

Oh, how He loves you and me.

Jesus to Calvary did go; His love for mankind to show

He gave His life; what more could He give?

Oh, how He loves you; oh, how He loves me;

Oh, how He loves you and me.

I can't remember all the words to this hymn, but you get the idea. Not only does God love you; He also loves your children—even more than you do. When our children are murdered, gunned down at school or on the street, Jesus is there watching and weeping. Could He have prevented the tragedy? Yes. If God wanted to force people to love Him, He would have made us all robots who have no choice, no freedom. Even the angels have choices. That's why one third of them followed Satan in revolt and were cast out of heaven to become demons. But because loves us enough to give us a free will, it is against His nature to impose His will on those who would do evil.

I've done this before on this web page, but the tragedy of those precious little school children in Delaware has been on my heart and mind for days. My heart aches for those parents. Remember the song, "Jesus Loves The Little Children." No one loves them more than God. It is my sincere belief that every one of those precious little ones are now safe in the arms of Jesus.

It is natural for a grieving parent to think of all the things they will never get to experience with that child. It is natural to think of all of things you'll never get to hear them say or see them do. God understands your heartache and grief. It's why Jesus promised He would never leave you or forsake you. He knew this was coming. He was grieving with you before it happened.

So instead of dwelling on what you won't have with that precious little one, think of what God saved him or her from. That child will never be molested by a teacher, scout leader, or anyone else. That child will never suffer bullying, never take drugs, never be an extortioner, or corrupt business executive. They may not have been anyway, but you don't know the outside influences that would have brought great harm to your child in later years. God knew. God knows our beginning from our end. I am NOT happy that you lost your children. Please don't read this in that context. But perhaps God was protecting your child from a worse fate. Perhaps He was sparing you from greater heartache.

Let God comfort you through His word, through the caring love of others. Even though Jesus knew He would raise Lazarus from the dead, still He wept for the grief of Lazarus's sisters and friends, maybe even for His own grief. After all, Lazarus was like a brother to Jesus.

Scripture admonishes us to "let the peace of God dwell in your hearts richly." God wants to heal your broken heart. Allowing the healing to take place doesn't mean you love your children any less. It doesn't mean you forget about them. Of course, you never will. You will love that child until your dying breath. But if you want to see your child again, you must accept the peace and comfort that God offers. You must accept His free gift of salvation or your eternity will not be spent with that precious little one. Teach your other children to love and trust God so all of you can meet again in eternity. God bless.

The Peace That Passes Understanding

So many people say they believe in God. Big deal. The Bible says the devil believes and trembles. Trust me: he isn't going to heaven to spend eternity with God. People say, "I can worship God at home or out on the boat. I don't have to go to church." Jesus told us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together and He also said if we love Him we'll obey Him. He tells us to take our tithes and offerings to the local church. If you aren't going to church, you aren't tithing, thus supporting the cause of Christ. You are not participating in sending missionaries to other countries to tell people about God's love. You are being disobedient to your Lord.

If you truly believe in God, and have asked Him to be your Lord and Savior, you will not be afraid to die.

My father-in-law died at 4:05 this morning. He was a quiet man and never talked much about God or his faith. But he went to church faithfully until it became too difficult to go. When my husband sat with him in the nursing home yesterday, he (my husband) asked God for a sign that his dad was ready to go. It was a beautiful, cloudless day and the curtains beside the bed were open. Dad had not been opening his eyes much these last two weeks, and most times the last few days, when he did, his eyes were just slits. But yesterday, as Tom sat with him, he opened his eyes wide, looked out the window, looked directly at his son, and the peace that comes with knowing you're on your way to a better place spread across his face, and tears trickled down his cheek. He was saying goodbye to his son. We'll see him again when it's our turn to go.

John 14:27-29 says, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. You have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If you loved me, you would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I. And now I have told you before it come to pass, that, when it is come to pass, you might believe."

Phil. 4:7 says, "And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Do you have the peace that passes understanding? None of knows when God will call us home.

When Death Knocks On The Door

My father-in-law is in a nursing home. He has been there for two weeks (this coming Saturday). We thought he was getting stronger and would be able to get through a few weeks of physical therapy and come home but he developed pneumonia. He gurgles when he breathes, like bubbles being blown through a straw into a glass of water. He doesn't want to eat and can't chew. He told his nurse this morning he was going to die. She asked him why he said that and he replied he just knew. She told us when a patient says that, they usually don't last longer than 72 hours. He has a living will and a DNR order has been signed but we aren't giving up yet. Still, God knows how many days He has allotted each one of us. We will continue to hold vigil, pray, spend time with Dad while we can, and know that we will see him again one day. He told the pastor he gave his heart to Jesus when he was ten years old. So when his time is done, we won't say good-bye. We'll say, "Until we meet again on the other side."

Joh_14:2--In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.

Heb_4:15--For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Rom_8:37--Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Rom_8:39--Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Why Do I Write This Blog?

Because I see all the hurt in the world and I want to do something about it.

Because I know that God is the only source of comfort and peace.

Because I know God has all the answers, and by His grace, He allows me to share what He has taught me to others.

Because bullying is so much worse today than it was when I was growing up. I was bullied, too.

Because life is too short, and precious, to spend it being miserable.

Because life, and its problems, are common human experiences. I have been through some of the same things as you.

Because I know what it's like to be a military wife with small children, and not be able to be with your husband.

Because I know what it's like to lose your parents and siblings in death.

Because I know what it feels like to be alone, and to feel as if no one cares.

I know what it's like to despise yourself and feel like crawling into a hole and never come out again.

I have felt as if I was the biggest, ugliest, dumbest person in the world.

I have felt that the world would be a better place without me.

I have felt despair, rejection, self-loathing, suicidal.

I have been so angry I wanted to hurt someone.

I have felt that my only purpose in life was to be the brunt of a joke.

I have felt that my only purpose in life was to fight with a stupid computer, and too dumb to do anything about it.

I have been disappointed in my children.

I have felt invisible to the rest of my family.

I have felt as if I am just an appendage to my in-laws.

I understand so many of the things you go through (of course not all of them). But the good news is—God never left me there. When the rest of the world (and, on rare occasions, my husband) seems to be against me, I read Romans chapter 8 in the Bible and I know God is for me. He became my heavenly Father the day I repented of my sin and asked Him to be my Lord and Savior. I asked Him to make me a new person and He did. Oh, I'm not perfect, and never will be in this life, but THANK YOU, JESUS! I'm not what I used to be. He saved my marriage and made it better than either of us ever thought possible. He taught me to like myself. He took away my rage and gave me His peace. He sent His Holy Spirit to live in my heart to help me change and be more like Him. He'll do the same for you if you ask Him. Please let me know how you are doing. You can just use your initials or a screen name. You don't have to give me any personal information you don't want to. I'm not here to steal any information. I don't want any personal information that would cause you problems. I just want to know you've been helped. Or tell me you think I'm crazy. It is still a free country. I will never share anything you say with anyone else. I have a facebook page but it is strictly for public information from me. I chat privately with close friends and relatives. God bless.

I'll Never Forgive

Have you been so hurt that you said you would never forgive someone? Maybe a loved one was murdered, raped, or molested. Maybe it was you. Maybe someone stole your identity and cost you a lot of time, trouble, and money to get it all straightened out. Maybe someone promised you something and didn't deliver. Maybe you paid a lot of money for a job or investment and they took your money and never delivered what was promised. Maybe a family member said something that cut very deep. Maybe, like many others, you had a parent who never made you feel loved, wanted, or appreciated.

Jesus knows how you feel. He chose twelve men to follow Him. These were men He bonded with, spent every day with, shared meals with, and to whom he bore His heart. He taught them. He fished with them. He raised Peter's mother-in-law from what could have been her deathbed. John was the disciple that loved Jesus so much, He thought of Him as a brother. Peter vowed to follow Christ to the very end and never leave Him. These twelve men traveled with Jesus everywhere He went, except for those times when He went alone to pray or when He sent them to buy food. They were together every day for three and a half years.

The night before He was to be crucified, Jesus took all twelve of those men to a room, prepared a basin of water and a towel, stooped before them, one by one, removed the sandals from their dirt caked feet, and washed them. He already knew that Peter would deny he even knew Jesus as He stood before Pilate. Jesus already knew that, later, when they would eat their last meal together, that Judas would leave with the money pouch and go tell the chief of the Sanhedrin where to find Him. Jesus knew that Caiaphas would notify the Roman soldiers and have Him arrested. He knew Judas would lead the soldiers to Him in the garden, and betray Him with a kiss (on each cheek, as is the custom in Europe and Middle Eastern countries). Jesus knew that as He stood trial for crimes, which He had never committed, every one of those disciples would leave Him. Only John returned as He hung on the cross. There Jesus gave John the charge to care for His widowed mother.

Jesus had already forgiven these men, as shown by His actions as He washed their feet. He was giving them two examples: first, that they should not be too proud to serve in any capacity; secondly, that they should always be quick to forgive. The disciples would understand these two principles what Jesus was gone from them.

If Jesus could forgive His tormenters, having never done anything wrong—if He could forgive you for everything you have ever done, how can you deny forgiveness to someone who has wronged you? Jesus never did anything wrong in His entire 33 1/2 years of life; yet all of us have done things wrong and we've never been treated as badly as Jesus was. Yes, the person who wronged you deserves your scorn, but you also deserve Jesus's scorn; and you have been given mercy. Let us then be merciful to others, even as we have been shown mercy.