Who’s The Boss?

by Aleta Kay

I was watching divorce court today and it reminded me of the very tense situations that can arise over the question of who makes the final decision in a relationship. Many couples struggle over the power issue. Many women get into the habit of being bossy because they are primarily responsible for raising the children. We tend to get loud when we feel we are not being taken seriously or are not being paid attention to.

Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, each party equal to the other. But someone has to make the final decision in a dispute. If one person is not good at handling finances it makes sense to let the one who is fiscally responsible to make the decision. Letting the one who is less responsible make the decision can lead to many problems and most of us don’t like problems.

The Bible teaches that, because Eve was tricked into eating the forbidden fruit, she will have pain in child-bearing and she must be submissive to her husband. She is free to express her opinion, state her position, and in the end should defer to him. This seems unfair and unequal. But the other side of that coin is that God holds the husband responsible for his family and its well-being–provided the wife is submissive. If the wife refuses to submit to his “authority” then she will be held accountable to God. The Bible also tells us that the husband is to love his wife, even as Christ loves the church and gave himself for it. See Ephesians 5:21-28, 33. Ultimately we are to treat each other with mutual respect. When we respect each other, submission is no longer an issue. Romans 12:10 says, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another.”

The reason I use the Bible is because it is the perfect book of wisdom and teaches us all we need to know to get along with other people. E-mail me with your thoughts or suggestions, or post your response on line. I’d love to hear from you.