The Battle in the Mind

by Aleta Kay

        

          Do you have panic attacks? Suffer from depression? Are you worried and fearful? Where do these feelings come from? They come from your thoughts. You think about things that may happen that would cause problems. You worry about your finances, your kids, your vehicle, your husband, your marriage. Those thoughts take control and you can’t help but worry and be anxious. You may take it out on your kids or your husband. You may become suspicious in your nature. You hate it but can’t stop.

          You have planned escape routes: sleep, a good book, a night out with the girls, a good stiff drink or two, a sweet snack, comfort food, a movie, etc. But when those things are done you’re back to square one. You may have put a lid on the feelings that have been controlling you but you can’t keep them at bay indefinitely.

          Your husband and your kids begin to treat you like a monster or a weird houseguest. You can see the disdain and frustration in their eyes and it scares you even more. What can you do?

          I have good news for you. You can control your thoughts. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 2:5 says, “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 23:7 says, “As he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

          Ephesians 6:10 through the end of the chapter tells us to put on our spiritual armor. One of those pieces of armor is the helmet of salvation. A helmet protects the head. If you are saved (see previous posts on how to know you belong to God)  you need to put that helmet on every day because Satan will attack your mind as he did Eve’s in the garden of Eden. He will fill your head with negative thoughts and worries. He will cause you to think critically of other people, especially those closest to you. But with your helmet firmly in place you can deflect those thoughts. They may gain entry but you can send them right back out.

          James 4:7 says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” It is your choice to allow yourself to dwell on those fearful, worrisome, negative thoughts. Philippians 4:6, 7 says, “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

          God bless.

I Thought He Would Change!

by Aleta Kay



         You thought he was such a sweet guy when you married him. He just needed a little fine tuning, right? A few little adjustments and he’d be perfect. You knew he needed you to implement those changes.

          Here’s the wake-up call: If you don’t love him as he is, you don’t really love him. Sure he has some quirks. Everyone has quirks and eccentricities. We’re all human. If you can’t learn to grow with someone and make some concessions you will end up alone after many failed relationships.

          If you really want to see change learn to love him as he is. Genuine love is unconditional. It’s the way God loves us. We don’t have to change to earn God’s love. He loves us as we are. After we put our complete faith and trust in Him, He sends His Holy Spirit to live within our hearts and He helps us change. But the unconditional love came first.

          We respond to each other. Kindness is contagious. Nagging and criticism drive people away and cause a lot of emotional damage. I Corinthians 7:14 says, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. Of course this is talking about someone who gets saved (gives his or her life to Christ and asks God to take away their sin and cleanse their hearts) after marriage and the other person is still unsaved. If you belong to God and your husband does not, you need to set the example of what it means to be a Christian. If your spouse sees hypocrisy in you, or manipulation, the message he will get is you think you are now too good for him and he will shut you out. He may even try to make you hate him, telling himself you would be better off with a Christian man. He will feel that he can’t measure up.

          I Peter 3:1 says, “Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won the conversation of the wives.” In other words, treat him as if he is your best friend, pray for him continuously, live a godly life, be faithful in church. Be the best wife and mother you can be. Let God do the work.

The Making of a Strong Marriage

by Aleta Kay

          He’s driving you crazy. He ALWAYS forgets your anniversary, is ALWAYS late for your daughter’s recital, and is ALWAYS late for your son’s ball games.  When he’s home you have to nag him to pick up after himself and he seems to prefer being at work to being home anyway. You’re just about at the end of your rope and you’re beginning to wonder if you wouldn’t be better off by yourself, just you and the kids.

          First of all, you must have loved him once. What happened? Did you change? Did he change? Did you get married without knowing what you were getting into? Many women have done exactly that same thing. And we all change over time. We grow. True love learns to adapt. Two lives have been joined together and produced children. Children deserve to have parents who love each other and know how to live in peace and harmony.

          Secondly, we are all sinners so it isn’t that there is one good person and one bad person in the marriage. There are two sinners who are focusing on the negative instead of the positive. Stop playing the negative messages in your head. Philippians 4:8 tells us to think on whatever things are true, honest, clean, lovely, and of good report. If there be any virtue or anything positive, think on these things. You can control your thoughts—2 Corinthians 10:5. You can allow God to establish your thought habits—Prov. 16:3.

          Finally, if you want a strong marriage, you’ll have to work at it. Take the word divorce out of your vocabulary. Purpose, determine, commit in your heart to treat your husband with respect and dignity. Treat him as if he is the best thing in the world. In so doing you will teach your children to respect both of you and you will be prepared to be a part of the bride of Christ when He returns (just a note here: the Bible says NO ONE, NOT EVEN JESUS HIMSELF, knows when that will be!). If you can’t treat your husband with respect you won’t be able to respect Christ either, because Ephesians 5:33 says the wife is to reverence her husband. Be in awe of his good qualities. Make a fuss over him. Praise him. Brag on him. He doesn’t have to deserve it; just do it. Over time you will see a change, but you will be honoring both him and God.  More on this subject tomorrow evening (I work late tomorrow.)

         

Signs of the End Times

by Luke Knickerbocker



     With the recent tsunami in Japan causing destruction and loss of life in the thousands, I am reminded of Biblical prophecy regarding the end times.

The disciples of Jesus had asked Christ what the sign of his coming would be, and of the end of the world. (Matthew 24:3) Jesus told them that leading up to the end, there would be wars amongst nations, famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in diverse places. All these are the beginning of sorrows (Matthew 24:7,8).

     This means that there would not only be an increase of wars, sicknesses, and natural disasters, but they would happen in a variety of places. In recent months, we have seen devastation by tsunamis and earthquakes around the world including New Zealand, Indonesia, Haiti and now Japan. These are only a handful of the catastrophic events of which we have received reports.

When considering the recent destruction to each of these islands, it makes it easy to believe the prophecy in Revelation when "every mountain and island" will be moved out of their places. (Revelation 6:16) John the Revelator also wrote, "...there was a great earthquake, such as was not since men were upon the earth, so mighty an earthquake, and so great. And every island fled away, and the mountains were not found." (Revelation 16:18,20).

Yet it seems people still ignore the warning signs that the end is in view. Many live as though they will be here forever and that nothing will change. Thus, their lifestyle is never examined, God is not feared, and eternity is ignored.

     As I write this, it is estimated that 10,000 were killed along the coast of Japan. Many towns have been changed or lost forever. Many who lost their family members will never be the same. But until it is our family, or even us, this awful earthquake will remain another piece of disturbing news added to the other chaotic events we've grown accustomed to hearing about. There is a danger of becoming so desensitized to the crises around us that we become calloused to the reality that these are the signs that the end is near. It is high time that we wake up, and prepare to meet God.

As Jesus told his disciples, "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).

My friend, there is no need to fear. Christ offers peace to the heart that trusts in Him. If you will give your heart to Jesus, ask Him to cleanse you of your sin, He will give you the assurance of eternal life. Then you will be prepared for the end times.

Luke Knickerbocker is the former pastor of Bethel Baptist Church in Lake Placid, FL. He submitted this article to our local newspaper back in March. Following are some of the comments he received. He and his wife are now studying to be missionaries in Texas.

  (by: Julieanne Crumley  -   3/19/2011)

How true!! Thank you so much for sharing the truth : ) I wish more people would pay attention and listen to God who is trying to get their attention. But, as upsetting as this is, Christians should be using this tragedy to be a spring board and get out there and share the truth about God's promises instead of hiding their heads in the sand.

Earthquakes  (by: Dr. Bob Hollis, Missionary  -   3/18/2011)

Thank you Pastor Luke for your message on the subject of the last days. Jesus did say that they are a sign of the times. I am so glad you are speaking out to let people know it is time to trust Christ and Him alone for salvation.

Earthquakes  (by: Susan  -   3/18/2011)

Thank you as we speak I am printing out the article and am going to go to the scriptures. The Lord knows I have been craving this as I have no others addressing these known comings. While it is scary it is also comforting to know He has everything in His hand. Just read the back of THE BOOK. God Bless

Scary  (by: Jamie  -   3/18/2011)

Wow--the end is near.

 
 
  

Avoid the Christmas Blues

by Aleta Kay



This time of year can be very stressful with cards to mail, presents to buy, and finances tight. How in the world can you come up with the money to meet everyone’s expectations? Here are some suggestions:

1) Take some of the children’s toys that they haven’t played with in months. Put them away where they won’t be seen. Wrap them and put them under the tree for Christmas. They will have forgotten about them (depending on their ages) and will think they have new toys. Little children mostly just enjoy opening presents anyway.

2) Make a book of coupons for adult family members: one for a back rub, one for a favorite dinner or dessert, one for babysitting, etc. Use your imagination.

3) Make a book of your favorite poetry or love songs for that special someone in your life.

4) Make a card with an encouraging message.

5) Make a plate of cookies or a pie. I used to make mini loaves of pumpkin bread to give to my neighbors.

6) Make a paper chain for the Christmas tree or string popcorn. Let the kids help.

7) Remember this is a time for rejoicing. Make it a family project to go caroling at a nursing home where a relative resides or a hospital. Be sure to call the facility and make arrangements ahead of time with the staff.

8) Do something for someone who has less than you.

9) Bury all grudges. Jesus did.

10) Play or sing happy music. It will lift your spirits.

11) Only do what you have time to do. Don’t stress over what doesn’t get done. Fretting over things makes those around you uncomfortable and unhappy. It is futile.

12) Have a very merry Christmas, and remember to keep Christ in it. He really is the reason for the season.

Inexpensive Christmas

by Aleta Kay



Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, the baking, the celebration atmosphere. What I don’t like is all the commercialism. I’ve heard many others say the same thing. And yet...some people feel guilty if they don’t go into debt to make sure their kids get everything they want. They feel compelled to wear themselves out with shopping, decorating and baking. Breathe.

Christmas is about giving of yourself, not about things. Christmas is about being truly thankful to God for sending His only begotten Son to be born as a human baby so He could identify with our sufferings. He wanted to really understand how we feel and what we go through on this earth. The Bible says Jesus was tempted in all points just as we are, but He never gave in to temptation. He never sinned. That’s why He was able to take our punishment.

To have a truly meaningful Christmas, take your children to the Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Family Dollar, a yard sale or a thrift store. Have them pick out a nice toy or article of clothing to give to someone less fortunate for Christmas. Even if you are one of those who is less fortunate, make some cookies or mini loaves of pumpkin bread or banana bread and give them as gifts to friends and neighbors.

The above mentioned dollar stores have inexpensive gift wrap, bags and cards. If you are creative, buy some colored pencils, markers or stamps and ink pad and decorate regular paper to wrap gifts in. You can let your children decorate plain paper to wrap gifts in. And although most adults want the paper to look perfect and be neat, the fact is it’s all going to get torn and thrown away anyway, so what difference does it make? Don’t be a perfectionist. Relax and enjoy the holiday. Don’t worry about what other people think. If they are that picky, that’s their problem. It doesn’t have to be yours.

Blessings to all.

Can Your Husband Trust You?

by Aleta Kay



Proverbs 31:10-11 says, “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil (lack of gain).” What does that mean?

The world, our society has its own idea of what a woman should be like. In the world’s eyes we are to dress for success, be in style. Ever since the 60's the attitude has been, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” But ask those worldly women if they think Christian women should “let it all hang out.” A few will say yes; the majority will say no.

The message we give the world with our dress should match what we say with our lives and our words. Our manner of dress should leave our husbands with the certainty we want attention from no other man but them. Our dress outside of home should be modest, neat and clean.

If we walk out of the house to go to work or to spend time with our friends, or wherever we may be going, people should be able to see a godly example. One of my Christian friends recently has begun dressing like a single woman. She said she wants to be sexy. She is married. Sexy should be reserved for the privacy of her own home. I mentioned as gently as I could that she should be more modest. She said Jesus wants her to look good.

Let’s examine that with scripture. Proverbs 31:17 says she girds her loins with strength. Verse 22 says she makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Verse 25 says strength and honor are her clothing. Verse 30 says favor (popularity) is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord shall be praised. I Peter 3:3 (talking to Christian women) says, “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair and of wearing of gold or putting on of apparel...”

If you want to be pleasing to God and your husband, be modest and careful not to draw attention from other men. Give your husband a reason to trust you. You’ll be glad you did.