Why Do I Write This Blog?

Because I see all the hurt in the world and I want to do something about it.

Because I know that God is the only source of comfort and peace.

Because I know God has all the answers, and by His grace, He allows me to share what He has taught me to others.

Because bullying is so much worse today than it was when I was growing up. I was bullied, too.

Because life is too short, and precious, to spend it being miserable.

Because life, and its problems, are common human experiences. I have been through some of the same things as you.

Because I know what it's like to be a military wife with small children, and not be able to be with your husband.

Because I know what it's like to lose your parents and siblings in death.

Because I know what it feels like to be alone, and to feel as if no one cares.

I know what it's like to despise yourself and feel like crawling into a hole and never come out again.

I have felt as if I was the biggest, ugliest, dumbest person in the world.

I have felt that the world would be a better place without me.

I have felt despair, rejection, self-loathing, suicidal.

I have been so angry I wanted to hurt someone.

I have felt that my only purpose in life was to be the brunt of a joke.

I have felt that my only purpose in life was to fight with a stupid computer, and too dumb to do anything about it.

I have been disappointed in my children.

I have felt invisible to the rest of my family.

I have felt as if I am just an appendage to my in-laws.

I understand so many of the things you go through (of course not all of them). But the good news is—God never left me there. When the rest of the world (and, on rare occasions, my husband) seems to be against me, I read Romans chapter 8 in the Bible and I know God is for me. He became my heavenly Father the day I repented of my sin and asked Him to be my Lord and Savior. I asked Him to make me a new person and He did. Oh, I'm not perfect, and never will be in this life, but THANK YOU, JESUS! I'm not what I used to be. He saved my marriage and made it better than either of us ever thought possible. He taught me to like myself. He took away my rage and gave me His peace. He sent His Holy Spirit to live in my heart to help me change and be more like Him. He'll do the same for you if you ask Him. Please let me know how you are doing. You can just use your initials or a screen name. You don't have to give me any personal information you don't want to. I'm not here to steal any information. I don't want any personal information that would cause you problems. I just want to know you've been helped. Or tell me you think I'm crazy. It is still a free country. I will never share anything you say with anyone else. I have a facebook page but it is strictly for public information from me. I chat privately with close friends and relatives. God bless.

I'll Never Forgive

Have you been so hurt that you said you would never forgive someone? Maybe a loved one was murdered, raped, or molested. Maybe it was you. Maybe someone stole your identity and cost you a lot of time, trouble, and money to get it all straightened out. Maybe someone promised you something and didn't deliver. Maybe you paid a lot of money for a job or investment and they took your money and never delivered what was promised. Maybe a family member said something that cut very deep. Maybe, like many others, you had a parent who never made you feel loved, wanted, or appreciated.

Jesus knows how you feel. He chose twelve men to follow Him. These were men He bonded with, spent every day with, shared meals with, and to whom he bore His heart. He taught them. He fished with them. He raised Peter's mother-in-law from what could have been her deathbed. John was the disciple that loved Jesus so much, He thought of Him as a brother. Peter vowed to follow Christ to the very end and never leave Him. These twelve men traveled with Jesus everywhere He went, except for those times when He went alone to pray or when He sent them to buy food. They were together every day for three and a half years.

The night before He was to be crucified, Jesus took all twelve of those men to a room, prepared a basin of water and a towel, stooped before them, one by one, removed the sandals from their dirt caked feet, and washed them. He already knew that Peter would deny he even knew Jesus as He stood before Pilate. Jesus already knew that, later, when they would eat their last meal together, that Judas would leave with the money pouch and go tell the chief of the Sanhedrin where to find Him. Jesus knew that Caiaphas would notify the Roman soldiers and have Him arrested. He knew Judas would lead the soldiers to Him in the garden, and betray Him with a kiss (on each cheek, as is the custom in Europe and Middle Eastern countries). Jesus knew that as He stood trial for crimes, which He had never committed, every one of those disciples would leave Him. Only John returned as He hung on the cross. There Jesus gave John the charge to care for His widowed mother.

Jesus had already forgiven these men, as shown by His actions as He washed their feet. He was giving them two examples: first, that they should not be too proud to serve in any capacity; secondly, that they should always be quick to forgive. The disciples would understand these two principles what Jesus was gone from them.

If Jesus could forgive His tormenters, having never done anything wrong—if He could forgive you for everything you have ever done, how can you deny forgiveness to someone who has wronged you? Jesus never did anything wrong in His entire 33 1/2 years of life; yet all of us have done things wrong and we've never been treated as badly as Jesus was. Yes, the person who wronged you deserves your scorn, but you also deserve Jesus's scorn; and you have been given mercy. Let us then be merciful to others, even as we have been shown mercy.

Every Good Relationship Begins With God

If this sounds pious, I don't mean for it to. It is simply a statement of fact. Even if you have good relationships with others, yet do not have a good relationship with God, it is still He who has put His goodness into those relationships. James 1:17-- Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Good relationships require love, compassion, patience, understanding, honesty, trust, and forgiveness. All of these traits are part of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The part I want to focus on is honesty. Many people today go to church, listen to a lot of hyped up, feel-good music, hear a little bit of preaching about a one-dimensional god whose only character trait is goodness, and go home to a battle ground.

There are many church-going people whose lives are filled with strife. It is possible that some of that strife comes from demonic or satanic interference, but mostly it's because they have a good dose of churchianity, not Christianity. The Robert Schullers of this world who only preach on God's love are hurting their listeners. They are doing a grave disservice because they are not preaching the truth. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." It is the entire counsel of God that teaches us how to respond to unkindness, bullying, hurt feelings, and more. It is the full counsel of God's word that teaches us how to have peace.

If your God is only a god of love, it's the wrong god. That's god's name is eros (I refuse to capitalize an imposter's name) and his ways lead to depravity, grief, sorrow, disease, and hell. The following scripture passage tells us we need to hear truth: the truth in God's word.

Joh 16:7  Nevertheless I tell you the truth; It is expedient for you that I go away: for if I go not away, the Comforter will not come unto you; but if I depart, I will send him unto you.

Joh 16:8  And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:

Joh 16:9  Of sin, because they believe not on me;

Joh 16:10  Of righteousness, because I go to my Father, and ye see me no more;

Joh 16:11  Of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.

Joh 16:12  I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.

Joh 16:13  Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

Joh 16:14  He shall glorify me: for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you.

If you had cancer, lupus, thyroid disease, heart disease, etc., wouldn't you want the doctor to tell you the truth? How would you make your final arrangements, set the hearts of your loved ones at peace, seek proper medical attention, if you had not been told the truth? If we want peace, love, joy, goodness, comfort, strength, etc., wouldn't it be wise to seek God's truth? Please contact me, e-mail, leave a message or comment to let me know what you think. I'm not interested in bragging rights; I just want to know you're being helped—or that you think I've totally lost my mind. All comments are welcome as long as they don't contain cursing for vulgarity. God bless.

P.S. Please pray for my father-in-law. He is 90 years old and is very weak right now. We are hoping physical therapy will help him. His name is Wilbur.

My Apologies

Most of my subjects are situations abut which I care deeply. I care about marriage and children. I care about families whose members don't speak to each other, usually over some slight, or jealousy, or something you have not forgiven. It is sometimes hard for me to tell how my messages come across. Often we expect more of others than we ourselves are willing to give. Sometimes we become so accustomed to our own values that we impose them on others with a judgmental or critical attitude. IF I HAVE EVER MADE ANY OF YOU, MY READERS, FEEL THAT I AM SITTING IN JUDGMENT, OR AM BEING CRITICAL, PLEASE FORGIVE ME. IT IS NEVER MY INTENTION TO BE EITHER.

We Christians (and church-goers in general) hear scripture so much, and hopefully, read it so much ourselves, that we become callous to the sufferings of others. Sometimes we get on our spiritual pedestals and look down on others who don't seem to have it all together—especially if they are fellow Christians or church members.

If you are a church-goer or a Christian, going through an emotional trial, depression, guilt, feeling condemned, blaming others to avoid truth-- if you are struggling with discouragement or doubt, remember God loves you. He still has a plan for you. Jesus urges us to cast our burdens on Him. That means He knows we have burdens. It didn't take Him by surprise. Jesus was depressed in the garden just before He was arrested. He sweated great drops of blood. He begged God the Father to make another way of salvation. He didn't want to go through with the crucifixion; yet He humbled Himself and accepted His fate. He understands what you are going through. That's why He could say through the apostle Paul in I Co 10:13,  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

We are all human, and subject to making grave errors in judgment that can ruin our lives, or devastate relationships, and even sometimes, cause us to turn away from God. But God never stops loving you. Proverbs 3:5  Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. Verse 6 says, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths". When we mess up, when we get caught in a web of lives that robs us of our joy and causes us extreme mental anguish, when we worry and fret while still clinging to our faith (even if by a thin thread), God is just waiting for us to admit what we have done, or confess that our faith is perhaps not as strong as we think it should be; if we have held bitterness, anger, or hatred in our hearts toward another, God just wants us to confess it and ask His forgiveness. Once we do that, He can begin the healing process.

Many church people and preachers believe it is a sin to get psychological help. We hear them say to just read the Bible and pray; trust God. Yes, perhaps that should be enough, but in our human frailty, when we separate ourselves from God and/or others, sometimes it takes someone (preferably a like-minded Christian) to help us get back on the right track. There is no shame in seeking Christian professional help.

If any of this applies to you or your situation, please seek Christian counseling. Don't let finances rob you of getting the help you need. Ask God to help you in that area as well. Perhaps the counselor/counseling facility would be willing to set up a payment plan based on your finances. Trust God to provide the help you need. Read Jeremiah 29:11, Psalms 34:7 and Psalms 37:4. Read John 3:16 again. Also, read the eighth chapter of Romans. There is strength and help available. Don't be afraid or ashamed of needing help. You can start with online prayer support: www.christianprayercenter.com or www.findchristiancounselor.com. If you have any difficulties please let me know. I care.

No One Else's Business Part 2

Jonah is an interesting character in the Bible. God told him to go to Nineveh and preach the gospel to them. He was to tell them that if they did not repent they would be destroyed. Jonah did not want to go to Nineveh. There has been much speculation over the centuries as to why he didn't want to go; the bottom line is he fled. He tried to escape from God's will.

The first thing Jonah did was go to the coast and pay his fare to get on a ship heading in the opposite direction. When he got on board the ship he found a place to sleep. Often when people are depressed or angry, they go to sleep to try to forget what's bothering them. Men seem to be especially prone to do this. It's a way of tuning out the voices they don't want to hear.

When the ship was well underway a storm came up and battered the ship to the point the sailors feared for their lives. None of them were Christians (at that time people belonging to God; Christ hadn't been born yet) and they cried out to their gods—to no avail. The winds and waves grew worse. They began throwing things overboard to lighten the weight of the ship, hoping it would not sink. Still, the storm grew worse. In desperation, they cast lots to see who was to blame for this storm. The gods must surely be angry with someone.

The lot fell on Jonah. The captain of the ship went to Jonah and woke him up. "What have you done to make your god so angry? It is your fault we are having this storm and fear for our lives. Who are you? Where do you come from?"

Jonah admitted that he was running from God and it was indeed his fault that they were in danger of shipwreck. He told the captain to throw him overboard and the sea would calm down and they would make it safely to shore. The crew continued to try other things first, not wanting to throw a man over. Finally, they did. Scripture says God prepared a great fish to swallow up Jonah. I have no problem believing this. If you research the measurements of the great blue whale or the beluga, you will see that it would be quite capable of swallowing a man.

So you see, first Jonah's actions impacted the plight of the other people on the ship. Second, it interfered with the normal diet of the "fish" (today we think it was a whale). It took the whale out of his normal routine to approach a man and swallow him. Jonah was inside the whale for three days and nights. Can you imagine the indigestion of the whale? Let's face it: a sour attitude affects everyone around us. Finally, God told the fish to spit Jonah out on dry land. Again, the whale (fish) had to go outside its normal habitat to get close enough to spit out this sour, unpleasant character. The creature vomited Jonah out onto dry land (near Nineveh, where he was supposed to be in the first place). Jonah's sin made the fish (whale) sick to its stomach.

How does your attitude and character affect the people around you?

What I Do I No One's Business! Part 1

What we do affects not just ourselves, but many others as well. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, blew it! He turned away from God in his old age and set up idols and worship centers for his 1,000 wives and concubines, turning his heart away from the one true God. You can read about him in I Kings 11:1-8. God tells His children that He is a jealous God (see the first commandment in Exodus chapter 20) and will tolerate worship of false gods. Who can save us and forgive our sins but the one true God? Who alone is able to deliver us from our enemies, heal our diseases, give us peace and joy, comfort us in sorrow? Only the one true God. He created us and has every right to demand our sole worship and our soul worship.

1Ki 11:9  And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice,

1Ki 11:10  And had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the LORD commanded.

1Ki 11:11  Wherefore the LORD said unto Solomon, Forasmuch as this is done of thee, and thou hast not kept my covenant and my statutes, which I have commanded thee, I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant.

1Ki 11:12  Notwithstanding in thy days I will not do it for David thy father's sake: but I will rend it out of the hand of thy son.

1Ki 11:13  Howbeit I will not rend away all the kingdom; but will give one tribe to thy son for David my servant's sake, and for Jerusalem's sake which I have chosen.

1Ki 11:14  And the LORD stirred up an adversary unto Solomon, Hadad the Edomite: he was of the king's seed in Edom.

      Not only did Solomon's rebellion against God cause trouble in his son's life, but God would hold Solomon accountable for not teaching his wives to love the one true God. All 1,000 of them ended up in hell because of Solomon's faithlessness. He had been the wealthiest man on earth. God had truly blessed him far beyond anyone who had ever lived and he turned his back on the One who gave him everything.

If you are not a Christian (someone who has acknowledged before God that you are a sinner, have asked God to forgive you of your sins, thanked Him for taking your punishment on the cross and rising from the dead so He could give you eternal life, and asking Him to be Lord of your life), please give your heart and life to Him. You won't be sorry. Yes, you will still have problems, but now you will have a Heavenly Father and Savior who will help you through those problems. He'll be on your side. Things may not always turn out the way you think they should, but they will always work out for your best. See Romans 8:28. Verses for salvation: John 3:3-16; Romans 3:10, 23; Romans 6:23; Romans 10:9, 10; Ephesians 2:8, 9. It is not a prayer that saves you, but the shed blood of Christ and His resurrection. Hebrews 9:22.

Are You Lying To Yourself?

Do you suffer from alcoholism or drug addiction? Do you tell yourself you can't help it? Social workers tell you that you have a disease. It's a lie. The only people who can't help it are the children born with alcohol fetal syndrome or born addicted to drugs because their mother drank or took drugs while she was pregnant. Diseases are not caused by the things we ingest (unless it has to do with prescription drugs that cause other problems, or things added to our foods). Diseases are caused by free radicals that our bodies react to. We are born with cancer cells but most of us are healthy enough for our bodies to fight them and so they don't develop.

God loves the alcoholic. He loves the drug addict. He loves you too much to leave you that way. That's why He has led people to develop programs and sponsors to help you overcome. The whole human race was born with one disease: sin. It is the cancer of the soul. And God made a way to conquer it. He sent His only begotten Son, Jesus, to die for our sins on the cross and to take our penalty. Through His might and His power, we can conquer our sin nature. No, we won't be perfect, but we wont' keep repeating the same sin over and over again.

We have Alcoholics Anonymous, which has weekly meetings where you meet people who are also struggling with addiction, and not just alcohol. You get a sponsor and spiritual guidance to help you find your way out of the morass of grief, sadness, anger, self-loathing, and guilt that keep you down. Some Independent Baptist churches have a program called Reformers Unanimous. It's a study program that uses scripture to help you find the strength you need to overcome. The Assemblies of God church has a program called Teen Challenge, which is really more for teens and young adults (up to age 30, I believe). It's a live-in arrangement with a group of either male or female (depending on your gender) fellow strugglers. There are leaders there who understand the problems you face. There is daily Bible study and they teach job skills to help you make it in life when you leave there. It isn't free but they may be able to find people willing to sponsor your stay while you get clean and learn how to live for God. It is a structured environment and they are compassionate and caring.

But please stop lying to yourself and giving yourself excuses for your life being a mess. You can make it. But you have to admit that you have a problem and you also have a choice. Don't tell yourself you can't help it. With God's help you can. God bless.