Are You a Scorekeeper?

by Aleta Kay

It’s the third time he’s broken his promise to take you and the kids to...wherever. Something else always comes first. It’s the fifth time he has watched his favorite sport on TV but he gripes if you watch your sitcom. It’s the umpteenth time he’s forgotten to take out the trash and you’ve had to do it yourself. As if all of that isn’t bad enough, you constantly have to pick up after him, do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, play taxi for the kids and their activities, and you have an outside job. I can feel the resentment and anger from my chair. Are you keeping score of all the disappointments in your marriage?

Here’s the question: Are there any advantages in keeping score?

Here are some thoughts to ponder: Do you want him keeping score of the times you’ve disappointed him? Hebrews 10:17 talks about how God forgives. It says, “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” When God forgives he forgets. Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west,  so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.”

Matthew 6:12, 14 says if you don’t forgive those that have wronged you, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you.

Philippians 4:13, 14 says, “....forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” Forget the past. You can’t change it. Dwelling on the past is self-defeating. Philippians 4:8 tells us to not even let negative thoughts in. We are rather to dwell on, ponder, consider, and eagerly look for the good and positive things in each other and in life. Look forward to the future. Plan it–together. Be willing to compromise.

If you want to be happy in your family relationships, forget the things that are past. If you ask God to help you, you can do it. Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” You can’t do it by yourself, but with the Holy Spirit living inside, yes you can.



Do You Treat Your Spouse Like an Enemy?

by Aleta Kay



As I walk through this life I see a lot of hurting people, and because the married couple is hurting their children hurt. Divorce hurts everyone. Loud arguing and violence hurts everyone in the family. People argue about how to discipline the children, what religion to raise them in, finances, his wants vs. her wants. The list seems endless. You push his buttons; he pushes your buttons. Add the cost of school supplies, pictures, trips, projects, etc. into the mix and you have a recipe for the blow up of a family. What to do? Who is right?

Obviously we aren’t going to solve everything in this brief space, but here are a few suggestions. First, when you feel yourself starting to get angry, take a deep breath; tell the other person you need a few minutes to think. Then go to your room or go for a walk and think about his or her point of view. Are there any valid points? Is there room for compromise? Does the issue have to be solved right now or can you both take time to reason things out?

Make a list of the pros and cons of the situation if there are any. If you have a relationship with God, pray about it.

Don’t feel that you have to be right all the time. Don’t treat the other person as if they are the biggest idiot in the world, and definitely don’t let the children hear you say anything that even remotely resembles that. It will tear down their respect for both of their parents. If they don’t respect you, they will rebel. After all, if you can’t handle your life as an adult, how can they expect you to handle theirs?

Finally, don’t treat each other as enemies. Ephesians 6:10-19 gives us the formula for fighting our battles. The verse that I want to emphasize here is verse 12: “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Satan (the chief ruler of the darkness of this world) is out to destroy your family. He can only be defeated by the power of God. Whether or not he wins is up to you.

Family is a Wonderful Thing!

by Aleta Kay



     We just finished a weekend with family. We get together once a year and spend two and a half days together. We are a very diverse family. Some of us are Christians. Most of us are not. Our jobs and lives are as varied as this country. Some have college degrees; some never graduated high school. But acceptance and love abound. There are some differences and sometimes feelings get hurt. Most of the time those things get worked out. Family members travel from as far away as Indiana, or as close as an hour away. A few travel from Oklahoma. We are always happy to get together and sad to see everyone leave.

     It breaks my heart to see families who don't get along. I have a co-worker whose dad died and she's broken-hearted because her sisters won't speak to her. My co-worker has lived next door to her parents for many years and has cared for them. Now her sisters are accusing her of taking advantage of their mother and trying to get the inheritance.

     I understand sentiment and wanting things with which to remember a loved one when they pass away, but to deny another family member the love they deserve in order to get something out of that death is sad and selfish indeed.

     We  all have to face the loss of our loved ones eventually, sometimes at a young age, sometimes in their later years, but that passing should draw us closer together, not drive us apart. Loss should create a deeper bond, not selfishness.

     Seek the higher road--seek to keep family intact. I once heard a great Christian comedian say, "You can pick your friends but you're stuck with your family." I left a job once because they told me I couldn't go to family reunion. I could (and did) get a new job. I can't get a new family. Think about it.

The Pursuit of Happiness

by Aleta Kay



     Before I get started with my actual blog I just want to apologize for not posting for a few days. We are on vacation in the mountains and don't have good signal. But don't give up on me. I'll post when I can and when I get back home I'll be posting on a daily basis again. My offering for today follows.

What does it mean to be happy? Is it just feeling good in the moment? Is it contentment? Is it that buoyancy of spirit like when you first fall in love? Those good feelings are temporary.

Joy, on the other hand, is a deep abiding sense of peace even in the midst of personal storms. It is present long after exuberance has faded away. Joy is knowing your family is safe, and that, come what may, God is in control. He will take care of you. Joy is knowing that God is with you in every circumstance. He has His best in mind for you, even when life gets hard.

Our Constitution guarantees us the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Although it doesn’t spell it out this way, that right was intended to be within the boundaries of legal endeavors. We must have laws or we have chaos. God has laws too. Joy, peace, contentment and happiness come when we obey those laws. Guilt, anguish, broken homes, rebellion, selfishness, etc. come from not obeying those laws.

Happiness may come with getting drunk or high. It may come from one-night stands and relationships with self-gratification as the goal. But it won’t last and these endeavors will lead to frustration and feelings of worthlessness.

God sees your pain. He sees the real you that you hide from the rest of the world. The good news is: He loves you. He sent His only begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, to die on a cross for your sins (and mine). Jesus knew what was coming. He went to the cross willingly because of His great love for us. He wasn’t forced to do it. “For God so loved....put your name here.....that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” All you have to do is believe that Jesus died on the cross for you, was buried, rose again the third day as He said He would, ask God to forgive you for your sins, and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. Then find a Bible-believing church to attend so you can grow in the knowledge of your new-found faith. Of course, I recommend my church first: Bethel Baptist Church in Lake Placid.

Dragonflies and Butterflies

by Aleta Kay



     This will probably not be a very long message but thought I would post what I thought was an intereseting observation.

     We were at a rest area the other day and it was rather blustery. I watched a dragonfly try to fly into the wind. The wind kept pushing it back. The dragonfly would get pushed back far enough to get to a place where the wind wasn't as strong, then fly back into the wind again. This scenario played out repeatedly for about three minutes. Finally the dragonfly turned around and flew toward the wind again but from a different angle. At last it got through.

     It reminded me of how we humans continually try to demand our own way, do our thing, buck against God and the consequences for our sins. Eventually some of us decide to follow the path, the wind of the Holy Spirit if you will, and find peace. Others of us, like that dragonfly at the beginning, just insist that our way will win out. Watch out for those consequences: and the consequences are yours because you chose the path.

     Butterflies are strictly moved by air currents. They have no choice about their path unless it is a perfectly still day. God moves them at His will. And aren't they lovely little creatures?

Stand Up, Church!

by Aleta Kay



     Is anyone besides me appalled at the state of this country? I have never in my lifetime (almost 60 years) seen the economy this bad. I have never in my lifestime seen such violence and rampant pedophilia. I have never in my lifetime seen so many single-parent homes where the children have no idea who their fathers are. When I was growing up we never heard of teachers molesting their students. We never heard of parents encouraging their kids to beat up other kids. We never heard of parents killing cheer leaders or coaches or children killing their parents.

     We now live in a day and age where so-called Christians want to be told how good they are. It's a name-it, claim-it society. The television "preacher" (I prefer to call him an orator because he doesn't preach the true gospel) will say things like "You just speak to that check book and tell it there is money in that account. And if you send me a gift of ___________amount God will bless you. How dare they tell such lies!? If you follow their advice your check will bounce, your account will be in worse shape, and you'll be in trouble for lack of sufficient funds. God does not honor stupidity. Making a television preacher rich at the expense of the local church (which is where your tithes belong) will not honor God and you cannot expect God to bless you because you chose to have your ears tickled.

     Church, we need to "Come out from among them, and be ye separate, and touch not the unseen thing, and I will receive you saith the Lord Almighty," 2 Corinthians 6:17. We have the blood of lost people on our hands because we want to play church instead of being real. We are sending people to hell because they see right through our posturing. They see us for the hypocrites we are. The world knows what a Christian is supposed to be and we are letting them down. Judgment will begin in the house of God.

     If we want to see our nation turn around; if we want government that will do what is right; if we want God to bless America (the United States--we are not the only America), then it is time for Christians to act like Christians. It is time for us to make a difference. It is HIGH TIME we show the love of Christ to a lost and dying world. We need to stop apologizing for our faith. We need to stop being afraid of their faces. Joshua 1:9 says, "Be strong and of a good courage, neither be afraid for the Lord thy God is with thee." It is time for us to live what we say we believe. It is time for us to stop cursing, going to the bawdy movies, stop accepting all the lewdness and decadence. It's time for the church to start speaking the truth in love. It's time for us to show people we care about them.

     It's time for us to practice 2 Chronicles 7:14--"If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." We need to repent collectively and individually, not just for our own sins, but for the sins of our nation, and for sitting back and allowing things to get to this point. Psalm 33:12 says, "Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord." "Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people."

Pro_14:34
We need to repent for the sin of prayerlessness, the sin of laziness, the sin of apathy, and the sin of lack of concern for the lost. Only when we turn our hearts toward God and really commit ourselves to Him, persevering in prayer for our country and the lost will we see God's hand in our nation again. WE HAVE NO RIGHT TO EXPECT ANYTHING FROM GOD WHEN WE ARE COMPLACENT, TAKE HIM FOR GRANTED, AND DON'T LIVE IN OBEDIENCE TO HIM! WOE UNTO US IF WE HEED NOT HIS WARNINGS! God is not a celestial teddy bear or Santa Claus. He is a just and holy God who has conditions attached to His blessings. If you want our nation to be prosperous again--if you want God's blessings on your own life: follow him. The word 'Christian" means follower or imitator of Christ. It has nothing to do with your denomination or religion. Christianity is NOT a religion. It is a RELATIONSHIP with almighty God.
     Let's stop playing and pretending. Let's get real. Let's get on our knees, fast from TV, partying, watching movies, whatever you spend most of your time on. Let's put God to the test and really, earnestly pray for this country, our military. Let's make a difference and see if we can once again really be ONE NATION UNDER GOD.
     I don't mean any harm against anyone. I love all people. But this country was founded on a strong belief in God. It broke away from England in order to give people the freedom to worship as they chose. I have no problem if you don't want to hear it. You have a right to say "no." But you don't have the right to tell the rest of us that we can't hear it. Atheism has ruined our youth as morality has been thrown out the window.
     If you are one of those people who opposes our right to hear the gospel, this is still a somewhat free country. You have the right and the freedom to move to any country where you will not hear it: most any country in Europe: France is primarily agnostic or atheistic. There is not a large Christian influence in Sweden, Switzerland, or Germany either. Please understand, whether you want us to or not, we will pray for you. You can't stop us. I am sorry for whatever caused you to hate God, but God still loves you. You can't make Him stop loving you. Hell will be your destination in spite of His love. He will not force anyone to go to heaven. He leaves the choice to you.
     RISE UP CHURCH!

What Has Happened to Our Country?

by Aleta Kay



     Ten years ago today our country was attacked by terrorists. We grieved enmasse over the loss of human life, the devastation of two major landmarks. We were stunned that a major strategic military/political building would be targeted on our own soil. We grieved and worried over the long-term effects of the ash and other debris that polluted the air around those sites. We cheered for bravery of those who lost their lives taking down the terrorists in the plane in Pennsylvania so the losses would be fewer than if they had not. We cheer on our military and other heroes who push aside their own fears to keep others safe and free. And then...

     On at the very least a weekly basis I see on the news where parents are urging their kids to fight and beat up other kids. They beat up their own kids if they lose. The parents sometimes join in the fray. They attack referees at high school football games. They bully other kids at school. Call me a bleeding heart conservative, but it saddens and sickens me that we can on one hand make heroes out of those who fight to keep us free (as we should), then diminish their service and sacrifice by promoting and encouraging senseless fighting. I wonder if those parents have any brains at all. How can any parent claim to love their children and teach them hatred? How can any parent claim to love a child and raise that child to be filled with anger, malice, discontent? Those parents must hate their children.

     I'm not talking about teaching them to defend themselves. I'm talking about teaching aggression. Self-defense is far different from going around starting neighborhood fights and having parents stand on the sidelines telling their kids to punch, hit, kick, bite, etc. To those parents I say you are raising your kids to be murderers. You are raising them to have a miserble life that will probably either land them in prison or death. And you can pat yourself on the back when that happens and say, "I did that."

     The words in red in the following passage are the words of Christ. He was and is the only perfect person who ever lived. He hung on a cross for things he was not guilty of so that we could go free. He took our punishment and forgave those who mutilated him and hung him on that cross. He knew what he was talking about when he said these words:

Mat 5:1 And seeing the multitudes, he went up into a mountain: and when he was set, his disciples came unto him: Mat 5:2 And he opened his mouth, and taught them, saying, Mat 5:3 Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Mat 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Mat 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. Mat 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. Mat 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. Mat 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Mat 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Mat 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Mat 5:11
 These are the words of a winner. He rose again the third day and will come again at a pre-appointed time known only by God the Father. I'm on his side and that makes me a winner too, regardless of any other viewpoint. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.